Coaching practices for What Am I Saying to Myself
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For What Am I Saying to Myself, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- Right in the thick of a panicky moment my head is all "why am I like this, what’s wrong with me," and the more I narrate it as "I, I, I" the more I drown in it
- I’ve tried saying the big confident lines in the mirror and they just ring hollow
- The way I talk to myself is all "I always screw this up," "I can never do this"
- While I’m actually performing there’s this running commentary telling me I’m blowing it, and I take every word of it as fact in the moment
- The second I do something wrong my self-talk leaps to “I’m pathetic, I’m a failure”
Practices that may help
- Talk to yourself in the third person
Use your own name or "you" instead of "I" when working through a hard moment.
Self-Distancing: Thinking Clearly About Your Own Problems - Affirmations
Repeat chosen statements about who you are and what you’re committed to.
The Miracle Morning, Made Practical - Use "we" language to describe your struggles
Shift from "I always fail at this" to "this is something a lot of us find hard."
Common Humanity, Made Practical - Identify your Self 1 interference in real time
Notice when your inner critic is instructing, judging, or catastrophizing — and name it as Self 1.
The Inner Game: Quieting Self 1 - Shift from "I am" to "I did"
Replace self-condemning labels with a precise description of the behavior.
Shame vs. Guilt: Why the Distinction Changes Everything - Replace critic monologue with compassionate self-talk
Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a close friend in the same situation.
Working With Your Inner Critic - Third-person labeling to activate the witness
Refer to yourself by name or in the third person when narrating your experience: "Dan is feeling anxious."
The Witness Stance - Use affirmation of values, not affirmation of ability
Affirm that you are a good person with important values — not that you are good at the specific thing you are anxious about.
Self-Affirmation Theory, Made Practical - Shift identity from self-concept to awareness itself
Experiment with "I am the aware space" rather than "I am my thoughts and feelings."
Non-Dual Awareness, Made Practical - Sing the thought: defusion through altered delivery
Repeat a sticky thought in a ridiculous voice, tune, or accent to reveal it as a mental product, not a fact.
Cognitive Defusion (ACT), Made Practical
Related concerns
- Third Person Self Talk
Refer to yourself by name or in the third person when narrating your experience: "Dan is feeling anxious."
Third-person labeling to activate the witness
- Anger Self Talk
Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a close friend in the same situation.
Replace critic monologue with compassionate self-talk
- Distanced Self Talk
Self-distancing means stepping back from your own experience and reasoning about it as if it were happening to someone else. Experiments find that distanced reflection and using your own name or "you" instead of "I" reduce emotional reactivity and improve reasoning under stress, though effects are modest and depend on actually adopting the outside view.
- Hatzigeorgiadis Self Talk
Self-talk — the internal or external commentary we generate before and during performance — reliably affects performance outcomes, according to meta-analyses by Hatzigeorgiadis and colleagues. Instructional self-talk improves fine motor skill; motivational self-talk improves power and endurance tasks. The specific content and function of the self-talk matter more than whether it is positive or negative.
- Kind Self Talk
Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a close friend in the same situation.
- Self Distancing Self Talk
Self-distancing means stepping back from your own experience and reasoning about it as if it were happening to someone else. Experiments find that distanced reflection and using your own name or "you" instead of "I" reduce emotional reactivity and improve reasoning under stress, though effects are modest and depend on actually adopting the outside view.
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