Coaching practices for What to Do When You Are Overwhelmed with Emotions

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • When a big feeling crashes over me it’s like I become it
  • When I’m upset I’m completely fused with the story
  • When a wave of anger or panic hits, it feels like it’ll swallow me whole if I don’t do something right now
  • Something just set me off and I can feel it surging right now
  • I feel the jealousy or the hurt and then immediately pile on a second layer of "I shouldn’t feel this, a mature person wouldn’t"

Practices that may help

  1. Mindfulness of the current emotion
    Observe the emotion as a wave passing through — without judging it, feeding it, or running from it.
    DBT Emotion Regulation Skills, Made Practical
  2. O — Observe: Notice What Is Actually Happening
    After the stop, observe the situation, your emotions, and your urges — without judgment and without acting on them.
    The STOP Skill: A DBT Technique for Crisis Moments
  3. Riding the emotion wave with anicca awareness
    When a strong emotion hits, track it through its full arc — notice it peak and fall without fleeing or amplifying.
    Anicca: Working Practically with Impermanence
  4. Observe the emotion without feeding it
    When a strong emotion hits, watch it without adding the story that keeps it going.
    The 90-Second Rule, Made Practical
  5. Give yourself permission to feel
    Drop the judgment about whether you should or shouldn’t feel a certain way — the emotion is already there.
    Radical Honesty About Emotions, Made Practical
  6. Mindful awareness of suffering
    Hold painful feelings in balanced awareness — neither suppressing them nor being swept away by them.
    Self-Compassion, Made Practical
  7. ACCEPTS — structured distraction from crisis
    Use Activities, Contributing, Comparisons, Emotions, Pushing away, Thoughts, and Sensations to redirect attention during a crisis.
    Distress Tolerance Skills, Made Practical
  8. N — Nurture with self-compassion
    Offer the part that is suffering what it most needs — care, acknowledgment, reassurance — as you would a dear friend.
    RAIN Meditation: Tara Brach’s Four-Step Practice
  9. Recover and recharge after intense emotion
    After an emotional peak, deliberately allow recovery time — intense arousal depletes resources.
    The 90-Second Rule, Made Practical
  10. TIPP: Rapid Physiological De-escalation for Intense Distress
    Use Temperature, Intense exercise, Paced breathing, and Paired muscle relaxation to bring crisis-level emotion down quickly.
    The STOP Skill: A DBT Technique for Crisis Moments

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