Coaching practices for Now That the Warm Feelings Have Drained Out of My Practice I'm Forced to See How Much I Was in it for That Glow and I Don't Know How Much of My Devotion Was Ever Real or Just Me Chasing a Comfortable High
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Now That the Warm Feelings Have Drained Out of My Practice I'm Forced to See How Much I Was in it for That Glow and I Don't Know How Much of My Devotion Was Ever Real or Just Me Chasing a Comfortable High, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- Now that the warm feelings have drained out of my practice, I’m forced to see how much I was in it for that glow
- My prayer has gone completely dry
- I say all the right "I’m so happy for you" words and even smile, but underneath it feels forced and hollow
- The thing I once loved most has become pure obligation
- I spend all day arranging my face into the cheerful, capable version everyone expects while I feel nothing like it inside, and holding that mask up hour after hour is leaving me hollowed out and weirdly unsure of what I even feel underneath it anymore.
Practices that may help
- Working with attachments in the night of the senses
Use the night of the senses to examine what you have been clinging to for identity and security.
The Dark Night of the Soul: John of the Cross - Bearing the darkness of not-knowing
Tolerate the felt absence of light, experience, or consolation during the practice.
The Cloud of Unknowing: Contemplation Beyond Concepts - Watching for the near enemy — performed joy versus genuine delight
Notice when your "happy for you" response is hollow or forced, and treat that signal as useful data.
Mudita: How to Cultivate Sympathetic Joy - Recover intrinsic interest after it has been crowded out
Intrinsic interest that has been undermined can often be partially recovered by removing the reward and reconnecting to original reasons.
The Overjustification Effect: When Rewards Kill Motivation - Stop surface acting
Recognize when you’re masking emotions at work or in relationships, and find low-cost outlets for what you actually feel.
Radical Honesty About Emotions, Made Practical - Training preference toward the present
Deliberately savour what you already own or have, as if it were new.
Santosha: The Practice of Contentment - Protect intrinsic motivation from over-justification
Be careful with rewards on things you already enjoy — they can undermine the enjoyment.
Self-Determination Theory, Made Usable - Close the loop: check values-alignment after acting
After a committed action, briefly confirm it expressed the value — or revise what you do next time.
Committed Action, Made Practical - Monitor intrinsic interest over time
Overjustification is a slow erosion — check whether you still find the work interesting, not just whether you’re doing it.
The Overjustification Effect: When Rewards Kill Motivation - Shift the goal from high self-esteem to authentic self-regard
Stop trying to feel good about yourself and start aiming for honest, compassionate self-knowledge.
Self-Worth vs. Self-Esteem
Related concerns
- Intrinsic Motivation Erosion
Overjustification is a slow erosion — check whether you still find the work interesting, not just whether you’re doing it.
Monitor intrinsic interest over time
- Intrinsic Vs Extrinsic Motivation What The Research Actually Shows After A Loss
Intrinsic motivation means doing something because it is inherently interesting or satisfying; extrinsic motivation means doing it for a separable outcome (pay, praise, avoiding punishment). Research by Deci and Ryan shows that tangible, expected, contingent rewards can undermine intrinsic interest in already-enjoyable tasks — but the strong version ("all rewards harm") is contested. The practical question is: which kind of reward, for which task, under which conditions?
- Intrinsic Vs Extrinsic Motivation What The Research Actually Shows When Burned Out
Intrinsic motivation means doing something because it is inherently interesting or satisfying; extrinsic motivation means doing it for a separable outcome (pay, praise, avoiding punishment). Research by Deci and Ryan shows that tangible, expected, contingent rewards can undermine intrinsic interest in already-enjoyable tasks — but the strong version ("all rewards harm") is contested. The practical question is: which kind of reward, for which task, under which conditions?
- Motivated Reasoning When Burned Out
Motivated reasoning, studied extensively by Ziva Kunda and others, is the tendency to reason toward a conclusion you want to reach rather than wherever the evidence leads. It is not conscious deception — the brain generates genuinely felt arguments for the preferred conclusion. Detection and structured debiasing techniques reduce but do not eliminate it; awareness alone is insufficient.
- Recovering Intrinsic Motivation
Intrinsic interest that has been undermined can often be partially recovered by removing the reward and reconnecting to original reasons.
Recover intrinsic interest after it has been crowded out
- Should I Allow My Child To Drop An Activity Just Because He S Lost Interest
Give consequences briefly and blandly — no energy, no lecture, no drama.
Refuse to energize negative behavior
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