Coaching practices for I Give Until There's Nothing Left of Me and Call it Being a Good Person and Lately I Just Feel Resentful and Empty I Think I've Confused Helping Others with Erasing Myself and It's Landing Me Flat on My Face
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For I Give Until There's Nothing Left of Me and Call it Being a Good Person and Lately I Just Feel Resentful and Empty I Think I've Confused Helping Others with Erasing Myself and It's Landing Me Flat on My Face, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I give until there’s nothing left of me and call it being a good person, and lately I just feel resentful and empty
- I help people constantly but lately it’s coming from a place of "I should" or not wanting to look bad, and instead of feeling good it just leaves me drained and a little resentful
- I run myself into the ground taking care of everyone else and I’m always the last person on my own list
- I keep pouring myself into caring for everyone around me while running on empty, and instead of feeling connected it just leaves me hollowed out
- My days revolve so tightly around my own needs that I feel a bit hollow
Practices that may help
- Be otherish, not selfless
Help others in ways that also serve your own goals and interests.
Give and Take: The Giver Advantage - Check your motivation before the act
Notice whether you’re acting from genuine care or from obligation — the emotion behind the act shapes the benefit you receive.
Acts of Kindness, Made Practical - Fierce provision: identify and meet your own needs
Ask yourself what you need right now and take action to supply it — without waiting to be asked.
Fierce Self-Compassion, Made Practical - Tend to yourself before tending to others
Sustainable tend-and-befriend requires that the caregiver’s own basic needs are met — otherwise helping depletes rather than regulates.
Tend-and-Befriend, Made Practical - Generosity and giving to others
Use time, money, or attention for others’ benefit rather than your own.
Self-Transcendence: Beyond the Self - Learn to recognize when a boundary is being crossed
Use resentment and depletion as diagnostic signals that a limit has been overstepped.
Saying No and Holding Boundaries - Be Fair: include yourself in the fairness you extend to others
Apply the same standards of fairness to yourself that you would to someone you respect.
FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships - Mental subtraction (imagine it gone)
Briefly picture losing what you already have, to restore appreciation for it.
Premeditatio Malorum, in Depth - Chunk your helping into dedicated time
Concentrate giving into scheduled blocks rather than letting it interrupt your focused work.
Give and Take: The Giver Advantage - Apply the razor to yourself
Extend to your own past actions the same charitable interpretation you give others.
Hanlon's Razor: Never Attribute to Malice What Stupidity Can Explain
Related concerns
- When Fierce Self Compassion Fierce Provision
Ask yourself what you need right now and take action to supply it — without waiting to be asked.
Fierce provision: identify and meet your own needs
- When Give And Take Taker Screening
Identify taker patterns quickly so your generosity flows to matchers and other givers.
Screen for takers early
- When Tend And Befriend Tend To Self First
Sustainable tend-and-befriend requires that the caregiver’s own basic needs are met — otherwise helping depletes rather than regulates.
Tend to yourself before tending to others
- Being Needed By Others
Volunteer, mentor, or help in a setting where the impact of your presence is tangible and direct.
Serve in a context where your contribution is visible
- When Acts Of Kindness Kindness Intention Check
Notice whether you’re acting from genuine care or from obligation — the emotion behind the act shapes the benefit you receive.
Check your motivation before the act
- When Fast Skill Be Fair To Yourself
Apply the same standards of fairness to yourself that you would to someone you respect.
Be Fair: include yourself in the fairness you extend to others
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