Coaching practices for When Not to Let Go
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For When Not to Let Go, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I hold on to everything all day long
- I’ve started reaching for "let them" to slip out of hard conversations I actually do owe people
- People keep telling me I need to let them go and move on, and everything in me refuses
- I still feel deeply tied to them, but I honestly can’t tell anymore whether that closeness is what’s keeping me steady or what’s keeping me from actually living
- Every so often we get it right
Practices that may help
- Letting go as a moment-to-moment practice
Make releasing — rather than gripping — your default response to whatever arises during the day.
The Untethered Soul, In Practice - Know when "let them" doesn’t apply
Use it for what you can’t control — not as an excuse to disengage from harm, responsibility, or people who need you.
The Let Them Theory, Made Practical - Task 4: Find an enduring connection with the deceased
Relocate the relationship from physical presence to an internal, meaningful connection.
Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical - Distinguish adaptive from complicated continuing bonds
Notice whether your bond with the person supports life re-engagement or prevents it.
Continuing Bonds in Grief, Made Practical - Celebrate and reinforce moments of secure connection
When you get it right -- when you reach and are met -- name it and savour it.
Hold Me Tight: Sue Johnson's Seven Conversations for Lasting Love - Pre-set your exit criteria
Decide in advance what result would make you stop, continue, or scale up.
Tiny Experiments: Testing Change Without Committing to It - Hold impermanence without grief
Practice keeping the awareness of impermanence in the background — not a meditation on loss but a light on presence.
The Last Time Meditation - Repair the relationship after a boundary, not the boundary
When saying no creates tension, address the relationship directly — without withdrawing the limit.
Saying No and Holding Boundaries - Use symbolic objects as tangible continuing bonds
Keep meaningful objects that represent the person and use them consciously, not compulsively.
Continuing Bonds in Grief, Made Practical - Kill your darlings deliberately
Identify the idea you’re most attached to, then set it aside first.
Quantity Over Quality: How More Drafts Produce Better Work
Related concerns
- Limits Of Letting Go
Make releasing — rather than gripping — your default response to whatever arises during the day.
Letting go as a moment-to-moment practice
- Adaptive Grief Bonds
Notice whether your bond with the person supports life re-engagement or prevents it.
Distinguish adaptive from complicated continuing bonds
- Consolations And Attachments
Notice whether your bond with the person supports life re-engagement or prevents it.
- Continuing Bonds Grief
Continuing bonds theory, developed by Dennis Klass and colleagues, holds that maintaining an ongoing inner relationship with the deceased — through memory, ritual, and internalised connection — is a normal and often adaptive part of grief, not a sign of pathology. Observational research supports this for many types of connection, though some forms (active searching, idealisation) are associated with poorer outcomes.
- Continuing Bonds In Grief After A Setback
Continuing bonds theory, developed by Dennis Klass and colleagues, holds that maintaining an ongoing inner relationship with the deceased — through memory, ritual, and internalised connection — is a normal and often adaptive part of grief, not a sign of pathology. Observational research supports this for many types of connection, though some forms (active searching, idealisation) are associated with poorer outcomes.
- Continuing Bonds In Grief Before Bed
Continuing bonds theory, developed by Dennis Klass and colleagues, holds that maintaining an ongoing inner relationship with the deceased — through memory, ritual, and internalised connection — is a normal and often adaptive part of grief, not a sign of pathology. Observational research supports this for many types of connection, though some forms (active searching, idealisation) are associated with poorer outcomes.
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