Coaching practices for Something in Me Skips Straight Past How Much This Hurts I'm Already Explaining it Away or Pushing it Down and I've Never Just Stopped to Admit Plainly That Right Now This is Hard
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Something in Me Skips Straight Past How Much This Hurts I'm Already Explaining it Away or Pushing it Down and I've Never Just Stopped to Admit Plainly That Right Now This is Hard, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- Something in me skips straight past how much this hurts
- I’m stuck at one of two extremes with hard feelings
- Something bad happened and the original hurt feels almost smaller than the storm I’ve built on top of it
- I keep telling myself to just move past what they did and not make a big deal of it, so I never actually look the hurt in the face
- It’s not just that it hurts
Practices that may help
- Acknowledge: name what is hard
Place a hand on your heart and say, "This is a moment of suffering."
The Self-Compassion Break - Mindful awareness of suffering
Hold painful feelings in balanced awareness — neither suppressing them nor being swept away by them.
Self-Compassion, Made Practical - Notice the second arrow (resistance)
Separate the original pain from the suffering you add by fighting it.
Radical Acceptance, Made Practical - R — Recall the hurt
Face what happened deliberately and calmly, without minimizing it or replaying it as a victim.
Forgiveness: The REACH Model - Identify the meaning violation
Name specifically which of your beliefs or goals this event contradicts — that is the source of distress beyond ordinary pain.
Meaning-Making Coping, Made Practical - Name the specific harm
Say exactly what you did and the impact it had — not a vague “I’m sorry for everything.”
The Art of Apology - Task 2: Work through the pain of grief
Allow and process the emotional and physical pain of loss rather than bypassing it.
Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical - Use the Pennebaker expressive writing protocol for difficult experiences
Write continuously for 15-20 minutes about a difficult experience — including your thoughts, feelings, and its connection to the rest of your life.
Journaling for Clarity - Expand into difficult feelings rather than contracting away
When discomfort arrives, consciously make room for it rather than tightening against it.
Psychological Flexibility, Made Practical - Give yourself permission to feel
Drop the judgment about whether you should or shouldn’t feel a certain way — the emotion is already there.
Radical Honesty About Emotions, Made Practical
Related concerns
- How Do I Deal With Emotional Pain
Use Activities, Contributing, Comparisons, Emotions, Pushing away, Thoughts, and Sensations to redirect attention during a crisis.
ACCEPTS — structured distraction from crisis
- How Do I Overcome Emotional Pain
Use Activities, Contributing, Comparisons, Emotions, Pushing away, Thoughts, and Sensations to redirect attention during a crisis.
- How Do You Deal With Emotional Pain
Use Activities, Contributing, Comparisons, Emotions, Pushing away, Thoughts, and Sensations to redirect attention during a crisis.
- How To Cope With Emotional Pain
Use Activities, Contributing, Comparisons, Emotions, Pushing away, Thoughts, and Sensations to redirect attention during a crisis.
- How To Deal With Emotional Pain Alone
Say to yourself: "Suffering is a part of life — I am not alone in this."
Common humanity: remember you are not alone
- How To Deal With Overwhelming Emotional Pain
Use Activities, Contributing, Comparisons, Emotions, Pushing away, Thoughts, and Sensations to redirect attention during a crisis.
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