Coaching practices for My Kid is Full of Wild Physical Energy and I Tend to Shut Down the Wrestling and Chasing Because I'm Afraid It'll Spin Out of Control but I Suspect That Pent Up Energy is Part of What's Coming Out as Outbursts Later
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For My Kid is Full of Wild Physical Energy and I Tend to Shut Down the Wrestling and Chasing Because I'm Afraid It'll Spin Out of Control but I Suspect That Pent Up Energy is Part of What's Coming Out as Outbursts Later, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- My kid is full of wild physical energy and I tend to shut down the wrestling and chasing because I’m afraid it’ll spin out of control
- My little one gets so wound up or so shut down that talking goes nowhere
- When my kid acts out I lose it
- When my kid is melting down I feel trapped between two bad options
- My child reacts to everything on pure impulse and never seems to stop and think how the other kid feels, and I want to actually build that thinking-and-considering muscle during our good calm moments, not just keep firefighting once they’ve already lost it.
Practices that may help
- Engage in safe rough-and-tumble play
Wrestling, chasing, and physical silliness build the regulation capacity that calm activities cannot.
Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting) - Use physical movement to shift the nervous system state
When the child is stuck in a heightened state, movement can shift the physiological baseline faster than words.
The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson) - Refuse to energize negative behavior
Give consequences briefly and blandly — no energy, no lecture, no drama.
The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser) - Use empathy to de-escalate, not to capitulate
Name the child’s emotional state without agreeing with every demand — empathy and limits can coexist.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Engage the upstairs brain through curiosity and play
Ask questions that require the child to think, imagine, or consider another perspective.
The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson) - Identify the lagging skill behind the behavior
Name the cognitive skill the child is missing, not the behavior you want to stop.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Recognize when Plan A (unilateral imposition) makes things worse
Adult-imposed solutions can win the battle and lose the war — notice when enforcement is escalating rather than solving.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Connect emotionally before you redirect or teach
The downstairs brain has to be acknowledged before the upstairs brain can hear anything.
The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson) - Set limits on behavior while accepting the feeling
All feelings are acceptable; not all behaviors are — hold both at once.
Emotion Coaching (John Gottman) - Hold Plan B conversations proactively, not reactively
Solve the problem before the next explosion, when everyone is calm.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
Related concerns
- How To Extract Child From Busy Place Without Physical Restraint
Name the child’s emotional state without agreeing with every demand — empathy and limits can coexist.
Use empathy to de-escalate, not to capitulate
- Optimal Way To Handle Autistic Childs Aggression Against Sibling
Solve the problem before the next explosion, when everyone is calm.
Hold Plan B conversations proactively, not reactively
- Teenage Child With Severe Daily Temper Tantrums And Whining
The downstairs brain has to be acknowledged before the upstairs brain can hear anything.
Connect emotionally before you redirect or teach
- Why Does My Child Get Angry So Quickly
When your child is upset, slow down instead of speeding toward resolution.
Treat the emotional moment as a teaching opportunity
- Why Does My Child Have So Much Anger
All feelings are acceptable; not all behaviors are — hold both at once.
Set limits on behavior while accepting the feeling
- 5 Year Old Son Is Extremely Stressed
Predictable schedules, sensory comfort, and low transition stress make Green more accessible.
Arrange the environment to support Green Zone states
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