Coaching practices for There Are Parts of Me a Feeling a Thing I Did That I Can't Stand and Keep Trying to Disown but They Don't Go Away They Just Run Me From the Shadows and I'm Starting to Sense I Can't Change Anything I Won't First Admit is Actually Mine
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For There Are Parts of Me a Feeling a Thing I Did That I Can't Stand and Keep Trying to Disown but They Don't Go Away They Just Run Me From the Shadows and I'm Starting to Sense I Can't Change Anything I Won't First Admit is Actually Mine, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- There are parts of me
- There’s one thing about me I spend enormous energy denying
- When a feeling grabs me I become it
- There are all these voices in me
- There’s a change I genuinely want and keep failing at, and it’s starting to feel like some hidden part of me is quietly working against it
Practices that may help
- The practice of self-acceptance
Be for yourself — refuse to be your own adversary, even about the parts you want to change.
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical - The integration letter to a disowned part
Write directly to the trait, impulse, or capacity you most want to disown — then listen for its response.
Shadow Work - Make the subject-object move
Turn something that has you ("I am anxious") into something you have and can examine ("I notice anxiety in me").
Self-Authorship: Moving From the Socialized to the Self-Authored Mind - Take an initial inventory of your parts
Name the recurring inner voices, emotions, and reactions — one per part — without judgment.
IFS Parts Mapping, Made Practical - Map your immunity to change
Surface the hidden competing commitment that keeps sabotaging a change you genuinely want.
Self-Authorship: Moving From the Socialized to the Self-Authored Mind - Build shame resilience
Recognize shame, reach out, and speak it — so it loses its grip instead of running you.
Daring Greatly, Made Practical - Acceptance (willingness)
Make room for unwanted feelings instead of struggling against them, so they stop running the show.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Made Practical - Self-as-context (the observing self)
Notice the steady "you" that observes thoughts and feelings without being defined by them.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Made Practical - Mindful awareness of suffering
Hold painful feelings in balanced awareness — neither suppressing them nor being swept away by them.
Self-Compassion, Made Practical - Separate core self from problematic behavior
Remind yourself that behavior is something you do, not the sum of who you are.
Shame vs. Guilt: Why the Distinction Changes Everything
Related concerns
- How To Identify Disowned Parts Shadow Self
Be for yourself — refuse to be your own adversary, even about the parts you want to change.
The practice of self-acceptance
- Face Your Feelings
Face difficult feelings with curiosity rather than suppressing, avoiding, or being swept into them.
Show up — turn toward difficult emotions
- How Did You Become Your Authentic True Self
Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and show up as who you actually are.
Cultivate authenticity
- How To Recognize Your Disowned Parts
Be for yourself — refuse to be your own adversary, even about the parts you want to change.
- How To Recognize Your Shadow Aspects
Write directly to the trait, impulse, or capacity you most want to disown — then listen for its response.
The integration letter to a disowned part
- When Shadow Work Shadow Integration Letter
Write directly to the trait, impulse, or capacity you most want to disown — then listen for its response.
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