Coaching practices for Why Won't My Child Speak

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Why Won't My Child Speak, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I only ever speak up to my kid when something’s wrong
  • When I ask my kid about their day I get one-word answers, and I realize I only ever ask about homework and chores
  • My kid blows up over the same things again and again, and I keep calling it defiance or attitude
  • Every conversation with my kid about their behavior turns into me laying down the law and them digging in, and I want a way to actually talk it through together
  • Something scared my child

Practices that may help

  1. Deliver active recognition of ordinary positive moments
    Narrate what the child is doing right in real time, even when it is unremarkable.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  2. Talk with your child about their day and interests
    Genuine conversational interest builds vocabulary, trust, and the relationship buffer that makes limits land without conflict.
    Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders)
  3. Identify the lagging skill behind the behavior
    Name the cognitive skill the child is missing, not the behavior you want to stop.
    Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
  4. Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
    Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
    Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
  5. Name it to tame it: tell the story of the big feeling
    Help the child narrate what happened and how it felt — storytelling is brain integration.
    The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
  6. Build mindsight by reflecting inner experience
    Describe your own inner experience in everyday conversation to build the child’s "mind-seeing" capacity.
    The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
  7. Cultivate a "yes brain": curiosity, courage, and resilience over reactivity
    Respond to the child’s world with curiosity and openness rather than threat and control.
    The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
  8. Connect emotionally before you redirect or teach
    The downstairs brain has to be acknowledged before the upstairs brain can hear anything.
    The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
  9. Use physical movement to shift the nervous system state
    When the child is stuck in a heightened state, movement can shift the physiological baseline faster than words.
    The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
  10. Use self-directed speech to regulate problem-solving
    Talk yourself through a hard task aloud; private speech is an internalized coaching voice.
    Zone of Proximal Development: Learning at Your Real Edge

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