Coaching practices for Would My Behavior Towards My Child Have the Desired Result

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Would My Behavior Towards My Child Have the Desired Result, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• When my kid acts out I lose it
• Every conversation with my kid about their behavior turns into me laying down the law and them digging in, and I want a way to actually talk it through together
• My kid only seems to come at me when they want something or when they’re acting out, and I realize the only time I really pay full attention is when I’m correcting them
• The same misbehavior keeps coming back no matter what I do about it, and I’m starting to suspect I’m only swatting at the surface
• We keep having the exact same blow-up over the exact same thing, and I’m starting to wonder if my kid genuinely doesn’t know how to handle that moment any other way

Practices that may help

1. Refuse to energize negative behavior
   Give consequences briefly and blandly — no energy, no lecture, no drama.
   The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
2. Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
   Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
   Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
3. Spend quality one-on-one time with your child
   Fifteen minutes of child-led, uninterrupted attention per day builds the relationship that discipline depends on.
   Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders)
4. Identify the mistaken goal behind the misbehavior
   Dreikurs argued that misbehavior is always purposeful — the child is pursuing belonging or significance through a mistaken strategy.
   Natural and Logical Consequences (Rudolf Dreikurs)
5. Take time for training — teach the skill, not just the rule
   Children misbehave partly because they don’t know how to do the right thing — teach the skill when everyone is calm.
   Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen)
6. Use descriptive praise instead of generic approval
   Tell the child exactly what they did right so they know what to repeat.
   Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders)
7. Follow through on the stated consequence calmly and without anger
   The consequence teaches; the anger confuses — keep them separate.
   Natural and Logical Consequences (Rudolf Dreikurs)
8. Follow the child’s lead completely during special time
   Let the child decide what you do, how long you stay, and when you move on.
   Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
9. Recognize what is not happening with proactive recognition
   Catch the child not misbehaving and name the success explicitly.
   The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
10. Deliver active recognition of ordinary positive moments
    Narrate what the child is doing right in real time, even when it is unremarkable.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)

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