How does "Focus on interests, not positions" work?

A position is one solution a person has fixed on; the interest is the underlying need it was meant to satisfy. Positions clash because they’re single points, but interests are multiple and often compatible — so working at the interest level reveals overlaps that positional bargaining hides. Most interests can be met in more than one way.

How does "Separate the people from the problem" work?

Negotiations entangle the substance with the relationship, so a disagreement on the merits gets felt as a personal attack and triggers defensiveness. Deliberately separating the two lets you press hard on the issue while protecting the relationship that makes agreement possible — emotions and perceptions handled as their own track.

How does "Invent options for mutual gain" work?

Treating negotiation as a fixed single decision triggers premature judgment and a win-lose frame. Separating inventing from deciding — generating many options first — lets you find trades that exploit differences in priorities, so each side gives on what it values less to gain what it values more.

How does "Insist on objective criteria" work?

When agreement rests on whose will is stronger, both sides dig in and the relationship pays. Grounding terms in a fair external standard converts a contest of stubbornness into a joint search for the right answer, and gives both parties a face-saving reason to move.

How does "Know your BATNA" work?

Power in a negotiation comes from your alternative, not your demands: the better your BATNA, the less you need this deal, so the calmer and firmer you can be. Knowing it sets a rational walk-away point and stops you from accepting a deal worse than no deal.

How does "Negotiation jujitsu" work?

Counterattacking entrenches both sides. Instead of meeting force with force, you sidestep: treat their position as one possible option, invite their reasoning, and recast attacks on you as attacks on the shared problem. The energy they bring gets redirected into examining interests and standards rather than escalating.

Getting to Yes: Principled Negotiation

What is principled negotiation from Getting to Yes, and how do you use it?

Getting to Yes (Fisher & Ury, of the Harvard Negotiation Project) argues for negotiating on the merits instead of haggling over positions: separate people from the problem, focus on underlying interests, invent options for mutual gain, and judge outcomes by objective criteria — with your BATNA as the source of real leverage. It’s an influential framework grounded in decision theory and negotiation experience rather than a lab-tested protocol.

Positional bargaining — staking a number and grinding toward the middle — wastes effort, strains relationships, and often leaves value on the table. Fisher and Ury’s alternative is to negotiate on the merits: get behind stated positions to the interests driving them, expand the options, and anchor agreement to standards both sides accept. Below are the core practices, each with the reasoning that makes it work.

Practices

Focus on interests, not positions

Dig beneath what each side demands to why they want it — the interest, not the stance.

Separate the people from the problem

Be hard on the problem, soft on the people — attack the issue, not each other.

Invent options for mutual gain

Brainstorm multiple possible deals before deciding, expanding the pie before splitting it.

Insist on objective criteria

Anchor the deal to independent standards — market rates, precedent, expert opinion — not willpower.

Know your BATNA

Your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement is the source of your real leverage.

Negotiation jujitsu

When they attack your position, don’t push back — redirect the force toward the problem.

Practice this with IX Coach

Reading about a practice changes nothing on its own. IX Coach turns these into a guided, adaptive routine — discerning where you are in real time and walking the practice with you, session after session.

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