Share advice with permission (ask–offer–ask)
Ask what they know, offer information with consent, then ask what they make of it.
Why it works
Unsolicited advice triggers reactance; information requested or permitted does not. Sandwiching advice between asking what the person already knows and asking how it lands preserves their autonomy and keeps them actively processing rather than passively resisting.
How to do it
- Ask first: "What do you already know about…?" and "Would it be okay if I shared something?"
- Offer neutrally and briefly, without insisting it applies to them.
- Ask: "What do you make of that?" and follow their response.
Evidence
Ask–offer–ask (elicit–provide–elicit) is the standard MI method for giving information without eroding motivation; it applies the autonomy-support principle that runs through MI. (clinical)
Established clinical practice rather than a separately trialed technique; its rationale rests on the autonomy/reactance evidence underlying MI as a whole.
Common mistake
Skipping the permission step and the closing question, which collapses ask–offer–ask back into ordinary advice-giving — and its ordinary resistance.
Practice this with IX Coach
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More practices for Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
- Evoke change talk instead of supplying it
Ask questions that lead the person to voice their own reasons for changing.
- Use OARS to make the person feel understood
Open questions, Affirmations, Reflections, Summaries — the four core micro-skills.
- Roll with resistance instead of fighting it
When you meet a push-back, soften and reflect rather than argue.
- Scale importance and confidence with the readiness ruler
Ask “On a 0–10 scale, how ready are you?” — then ask why not lower.
- Develop discrepancy between values and behavior
Gently hold up the gap between what the person wants and what they’re doing.
- Affirm genuine strengths and effort
Notice and name real strengths the person brings — not empty praise.