Coaching practices for Acts of Kindness as a Parent

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Acts of Kindness as a Parent, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • My child has gotten so used to being "the difficult one" that they act like it’s just who they are
  • There are certain moments
  • I only ever speak up to my kid when something’s wrong
  • I praise my kid constantly
  • I praise my kid constantly

Practices that may help

  1. Use experiential recognition to highlight strengths in the moment
    Catch the child demonstrating a virtue and name the virtue directly.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  2. Recognize what is not happening with proactive recognition
    Catch the child not misbehaving and name the success explicitly.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  3. Deliver active recognition of ordinary positive moments
    Narrate what the child is doing right in real time, even when it is unremarkable.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  4. Sportscast what you see rather than directing
    Narrate the play without evaluation, question, or instruction.
    Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
  5. Encourage specific contributions and efforts
    "You set the table without being asked — that helped the whole family" is more powerful than "Good job."
    Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen)
  6. Follow the child’s lead completely during special time
    Let the child decide what you do, how long you stay, and when you move on.
    Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
  7. Allow natural consequences to do the teaching
    Step back and let the world respond — your child learns more from being cold than from being lectured about coats.
    Natural and Logical Consequences (Rudolf Dreikurs)
  8. Notice the ripple — secondary effects beyond the immediate act
    Watch for how a single act of kindness can propagate through a social network, which amplifies the meaning of the original act.
    Acts of Kindness, Made Practical
  9. Reflect briefly on kind acts after doing them
    Spend two to three minutes at day’s end recalling your kindness acts — the consolidation is part of why the practice works.
    Acts of Kindness, Made Practical
  10. Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
    Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
    Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)

Related concerns

Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.

Practice this with IX Coach

Try this practice