Coaching practices for Attachment Injury Healing

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Attachment Injury Healing, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• After we fight we just let it sit for days with neither of us reaching out, and the hurt quietly piles up until I start reading even neutral things they do as another little jab
• There’s one moment when I needed them and they weren’t there, and even though it was a while ago it still sits between us
• Even after we patch things up, every new conflict still feels like it could be the one that ends us
• There was one moment when I needed them most
• The memory finally doesn’t sting the way it used to, but the belief it left behind is still running the show

Practices that may help

1. Repair quickly and thoroughly
   Don’t let injuries accumulate — repair within hours or days, not weeks.
   Secure-Functioning Relationships
2. Revisit a hurtful moment -- and repair it
   Going back to a painful past moment together, with new understanding, is how attachment injuries heal.
   Hold Me Tight: Sue Johnson's Seven Conversations for Lasting Love
3. Let repeated repair build earned security
   Each successful repair teaches "we can break and come back" — which is what makes a relationship feel safe.
   Rupture and Repair
4. Repair an attachment injury
   Specific relationship betrayals -- moments when you were not there -- need a specific repair, not just time.
   Emotionally Focused Therapy: Sue Johnson's Framework for Lasting Bond Repair
5. Installation of the Positive Cognition
   Once distress has cleared, strengthen the preferred self-belief with bilateral stimulation.
   EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing
6. Rupture and Repair
   Ruptures — the inevitable misattunements, conflicts, and disconnections in any close relationship — are normal and unavoidable; what builds security is reliable repair afterward. Research from infant still-face studies, couples work, and psychotherapy all converges on the same finding: relationships are not made secure by avoiding rupture but by the predictable experience that disconnection can be named and reconnected.
7. Eccentric loading for tendon rehabilitation
   Controlled eccentric load is the primary evidence-based stimulus for repairing tendinopathy.
   Eccentric Training, Made Practical
8. Use play to re-establish connection after conflict or separation
   Playful physical contact after a difficult moment re-welds the relationship faster than discussion.
   Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
9. Apply the 10% rule to limit weekly load increases
   Increase weekly training load (volume or intensity) by no more than 10% from the prior week to stay ahead of injury risk.
   Progressive Overload
10. Body Scan and Session Closure
    Sweep attention through the body after processing to catch residual tension before closing the session.
    EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing

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