Coaching practices for Autogenic Training as a Parent
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Autogenic Training as a Parent, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- The people I’m training just go through the reps I dictate, checked-out and joyless, and I dictate every detail because I assume that’s my job
- Even when I sit down to play with my kid I catch myself steering it
- I want my child to carry a solid sense of who they are even when I’m not there to remind them
- I only ever speak up to my kid when something’s wrong
- The second my kid starts melting down I feel my own chest tighten and my patience snap, and I react from that heat
Practices that may help
- Give performers choice within practice to support autonomy
Offer self-directed options in practice — which drill, how many reps, which cue — to enhance intrinsic motivation and learning.
External Focus of Attention, Made Practical - Autogenic Training, Made Practical
Autogenic training (AT), developed by psychiatrist Johannes Schultz in the 1930s, is a structured self-relaxation method that uses repeated, specific phrases — "My arm is heavy," "My arm is warm" — to trigger physiological relaxation through passive concentration. A 2002 meta-analysis found AT effective for anxiety, insomnia, and functional somatic complaints. The warmth and heaviness described in the phrases are real physiological responses (vasodilation and muscle relaxation), not metaphor. - Follow the child’s lead completely during special time
Let the child decide what you do, how long you stay, and when you move on.
Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting) - Build the child’s inner wealth narrative over time
Consistently reflect back who the child is becoming, not just what they’re doing.
The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser) - Deliver active recognition of ordinary positive moments
Narrate what the child is doing right in real time, even when it is unremarkable.
The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser) - Become aware of your own emotional reactions first
A parent who is flooded by their child’s distress cannot coach it — self-awareness is the prerequisite.
Emotion Coaching (John Gottman) - Practice emotion coaching during low-stakes moments
Build the skill in small moments so it’s available in the big ones.
Emotion Coaching (John Gottman) - Sportscast what you see rather than directing
Narrate the play without evaluation, question, or instruction.
Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting) - Use experiential recognition to highlight strengths in the moment
Catch the child demonstrating a virtue and name the virtue directly.
The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser) - Take time for training — teach the skill, not just the rule
Children misbehave partly because they don’t know how to do the right thing — teach the skill when everyone is calm.
Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen)
Related concerns
- How Can I Emphasize To My Children The Importance Of Developing Social Skills
Catch the child demonstrating a virtue and name the virtue directly.
Use experiential recognition to highlight strengths in the moment
- Building Positive Emotions As A Parent
Positive emotions can be cultivated deliberately through practices that vary what triggers them: gratitude, savoring, meaningful engagement, kindness, and awe are the most studied routes. Barbara Fredrickson’s broaden-and-build theory proposes that positive emotions expand thinking and build psychological resources over time — supported by observational research, though some specific claims (like the 3:1 ratio) have not replicated. The individual practices have varying but mostly real evidence bases.
- Character Narrative Parenting
Narrate the play without evaluation, question, or instruction.
Sportscast what you see rather than directing
- Creative Confidence As A Parent
Creative confidence, as defined by Tom and David Kelley of IDEO, is the belief that you can generate good ideas and act on them — and research on self-efficacy shows it is learnable, not fixed. The core method is accumulating small creative wins through guided practice, which rebuilds confidence that was typically damaged by early criticism or comparison.
- Encouraging A Child To Follow Their Natural Gifts
Encouragement builds inner confidence; outcome-praise creates dependency on adult evaluation.
Encourage the effort and the process, not the outcome
- Experiential Learning Parenting
Let the child decide what you do, how long you stay, and when you move on.
Follow the child’s lead completely during special time
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