Coaching practices for Awe and the Small Self as a Parent

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Awe and the Small Self as a Parent, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • In the moments something vast cracks me open, I feel this soft pull toward everyone and everything
  • When something makes me feel tiny against how huge the world is, my reflex is to flinch and grab back control, like feeling small is a threat to fend off
  • My own problems have swollen up to fill my entire world and I can’t see past them
  • I want my child to carry a solid sense of who they are even when I’m not there to remind them
  • For a little while right after something takes my breath away, the stuff I’d been stressing about genuinely feels smaller and farther off

Practices that may help

  1. Awe and the Small Self
    Dacher Keltner’s research shows that awe — the response to something vast that exceeds our current frame — reliably produces the "small self": a felt diminishment of individual concerns that is experienced as expansive rather than deflating. This shift reduces self-focused rumination, increases prosocial behavior, and expands the sense of available time. The core effects are well replicated; the neural and downstream health claims are more preliminary.
  2. Use awe to reconnect with something larger than yourself
    When awe makes the self feel small, follow the natural impulse toward belonging — toward community, nature, or humanity at large.
    Awe and Well-Being, Made Practical
  3. Courting the small self
    Seek experiences that make you feel small in a good way — and notice the relief in it.
    Awe Walks, and the Science of Wonder
  4. Deliberately invoke the small-self shift
    Seek an encounter with something genuinely vast to let your personal concerns be re-proportioned.
    Awe and the Small Self
  5. Build the child’s inner wealth narrative over time
    Consistently reflect back who the child is becoming, not just what they’re doing.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  6. Write from a small-self perspective after awe
    After an awe experience, write briefly from the perspective of someone whose personal concerns feel appropriately small.
    Awe and Well-Being, Made Practical
  7. Seek out awe as a broadening and self-transcending emotion
    Awe expands perceived time, reduces self-focused thought, and increases prosocial behavior — and it can be deliberately accessed.
    Broaden-and-Build, Made Practical
  8. Listen empathically and validate the feeling
    Reflect the emotion you see accurately before you do anything else.
    Emotion Coaching (John Gottman)
  9. Give age-appropriate autonomy within non-negotiable limits
    Let the child choose within the boundaries you set — the choice builds competence; the boundary provides safety.
    Authoritative Parenting (Diana Baumrind)
  10. Become aware of your own emotional reactions first
    A parent who is flooded by their child’s distress cannot coach it — self-awareness is the prerequisite.
    Emotion Coaching (John Gottman)

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