Coaching practices for Being Your True Self

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Being Your True Self, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• I’m so used to managing how I come across that I’m not even sure people know the real me
• With the person closest to me I’ve fallen into playing a role, and the most real parts of me stay tucked away
• I show people the polished, competent version of me and never the messy in-progress stuff, and I’ve realized that’s exactly why even my close relationships feel oddly flat
• I want to be able to say the true thing in a hard conversation without either shrinking myself to keep them comfortable or steamrolling them to protect myself
• I tell myself I’m a generous, present, hardworking person, but when I actually look at how I spent this week, my behavior tells a different story

Practices that may help

1. Cultivate authenticity
   Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and show up as who you actually are.
   The Gifts of Imperfection, Made Practical
2. Apply strengths consciously in your most important relationships
   Identify how your signature strengths are showing up — or failing to show up — in the relationships that matter most.
   VIA Character Strengths, Made Practical
3. Practice calibrated self-disclosure to allow genuine connection
   Share something true about your inner experience — not performed, not calculated — to let someone in.
   Radical Openness: The RO-DBT Approach to Overcontrol and Loneliness
4. Practice congruent communication
   Say what you feel, about what you observe, while caring for both yourself and the other person.
   The Satir Model
5. Define yourself by actions, not intentions
   You are not your intentions or your self-image — you are the accumulation of what you actually do.
   Existentialism and Radical Choice
6. Stop surface acting
   Recognize when you’re masking emotions at work or in relationships, and find low-cost outlets for what you actually feel.
   Radical Honesty About Emotions, Made Practical
7. The practice of self-assertiveness
   Honor your wants, needs, and values by expressing them in the world — appropriately and openly.
   The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical
8. Choose vulnerability on purpose
   Show up and let yourself be seen when there is no guarantee of the outcome.
   Daring Greatly, Made Practical
9. Lower your guard to raise the intimacy score
   Sharing something real about yourself makes others feel safer sharing something real with you.
   The Trust Equation, Made Practical
10. Build self-familiarity with new identities through low-stakes repetition
    Repeatedly acting in a new way — even in small doses — makes the new behavior feel like you.
    The Mere Exposure Effect, Made Practical

Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.