Coaching practices for Collaborative Discipline
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Collaborative Discipline, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I lay down a rule and my kids ignore it because it’s "my" rule they had no say in
- My team only performs when I’m watching, and I keep bolting on more rules to control it, which just makes everything rigid
- We’re both dug into opposing positions and treating it like one of us has to lose, but this is someone I’ll keep working with and the outcome genuinely matters to both of us
- When I hit a problem like this alone I just go in circles, but I’ve noticed that the moment I’m actually working it through out loud with another person I find myself making leaps I’d never reach by myself
- Every conversation with my kid about their behavior turns into me laying down the law and them digging in, and I want a way to actually talk it through together
Practices that may help
- Use family meetings to solve problems together
When children help solve the problem, they own the solution — and solutions they own, they actually follow.
Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen) - Build a culture of discipline, not a disciplinarian culture
Hire self-disciplined people, then give them freedom within a clear framework.
Level 5 Leadership: Humility and Will in Great Leaders - Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen)
Positive Discipline, developed by Jane Nelsen and based on Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs’s work, is a parenting and classroom approach that is simultaneously kind and firm — neither permissive nor punitive. Its central premise is that children do better when they feel a sense of belonging and significance, and that most misbehavior is an ineffective attempt to achieve one of these. The approach has strong clinical adoption and is consistent with authoritative parenting research, though controlled trials on the specific Positive Discipline curriculum are limited. - Use Collaborating when the relationship and the solution both matter
Collaborating — high assertive, high cooperative — finds a solution that genuinely works for both parties, but it takes time.
The Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) - Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
Ross Greene’s Collaborative Problem Solving model holds that kids with explosive behavior lack the cognitive skills to handle frustration and inflexibility — not the motivation. The approach replaces punitive consequences with structured adult–child conversations that build lagging skills over time. Randomized trials in clinical settings show significant reductions in explosive behavior, though most real-world evidence is clinical and observational. - Solve problems collaboratively to access your ZPD
Joint problem-solving with a peer or coach reveals capability you could not reach alone.
Zone of Proximal Development: Learning at Your Real Edge - Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Connect before you correct
A child who feels connected to you is far more receptive to your guidance than one who feels attacked.
Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen) - Be kind AND firm — simultaneously, not alternately
Kind without firm is permissive; firm without kind is authoritarian. The practice is holding both at once.
Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen) - Create a culture of peer-to-peer accountability
Teams that only hold each other accountable through the manager haven’t built real accountability at all.
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Made Practical
Related concerns
- Positive Discipline Jane Nelsen With My Team
Positive Discipline, developed by Jane Nelsen and based on Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs’s work, is a parenting and classroom approach that is simultaneously kind and firm — neither permissive nor punitive. Its central premise is that children do better when they feel a sense of belonging and significance, and that most misbehavior is an ineffective attempt to achieve one of these. The approach has strong clinical adoption and is consistent with authoritative parenting research, though controlled trials on the specific Positive Discipline curriculum are limited.
- Family Meetings Positive Discipline
When children help solve the problem, they own the solution — and solutions they own, they actually follow.
Use family meetings to solve problems together
- Positive Discipline Jane Nelsen At Work
Positive Discipline, developed by Jane Nelsen and based on Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs’s work, is a parenting and classroom approach that is simultaneously kind and firm — neither permissive nor punitive. Its central premise is that children do better when they feel a sense of belonging and significance, and that most misbehavior is an ineffective attempt to achieve one of these. The approach has strong clinical adoption and is consistent with authoritative parenting research, though controlled trials on the specific Positive Discipline curriculum are limited.
- Positive Discipline Jane Nelsen With Friends
Positive Discipline, developed by Jane Nelsen and based on Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs’s work, is a parenting and classroom approach that is simultaneously kind and firm — neither permissive nor punitive. Its central premise is that children do better when they feel a sense of belonging and significance, and that most misbehavior is an ineffective attempt to achieve one of these. The approach has strong clinical adoption and is consistent with authoritative parenting research, though controlled trials on the specific Positive Discipline curriculum are limited.
- Positive Discipline Kind Firm
Kind without firm is permissive; firm without kind is authoritarian. The practice is holding both at once.
Be kind AND firm — simultaneously, not alternately
- Positive Discipline Training
Positive Discipline, developed by Jane Nelsen and based on Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs’s work, is a parenting and classroom approach that is simultaneously kind and firm — neither permissive nor punitive. Its central premise is that children do better when they feel a sense of belonging and significance, and that most misbehavior is an ineffective attempt to achieve one of these. The approach has strong clinical adoption and is consistent with authoritative parenting research, though controlled trials on the specific Positive Discipline curriculum are limited.
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