Coaching practices for Delivering Compassion to Yourself

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Delivering Compassion to Yourself, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • Whatever I’m feeling, I pile on top of it
  • After I mess up I’m stuck choosing between tearing into myself or letting myself off the hook entirely
  • When the scared or self-loathing part of me shows up, my reflex is to shove it away or pile more judgment on it, which only makes it worse
  • If a friend told me what I’m beating myself up over, I’d know exactly what kind thing to say to them
  • The strangest thing happens when I finally try being gentle with myself

Practices that may help

  1. N — Nurture with self-compassion
    Offer the part that is suffering what it most needs — care, acknowledgment, reassurance — as you would a dear friend.
    RAIN Meditation: Tara Brach’s Four-Step Practice
  2. Self-compassion through the distancing lens
    Combine third-person perspective with self-compassionate framing to avoid both self-attack and self-indulgence.
    Self-Distancing Journaling
  3. Cultivate Self through directed inner compassion
    Practice sending compassion inward — toward the parts that are suffering — to build the Self-energy those parts need.
    IFS Self Energy, Made Practical
  4. Compassionate Letter Writing
    Write a letter to yourself from the perspective of a wise, compassionate friend — about something you’ve been judging yourself for.
    Compassion-Focused Therapy: Calming the Inner Critic
  5. Recognize backdraft — the pain that arises when kindness first lands
    When self-compassion initially hurts more, that is backdraft — a sign it is working, not failing.
    The Self-Compassion Break
  6. The self-compassion break
    A three-step phrase you say in a hard moment: this is suffering, suffering is human, may I be kind to myself.
    Self-Compassion, Made Practical
  7. Send yourself the same loving wishes you send others
    Expand loving-kindness practice inward — toward yourself as you would toward a beloved friend.
    The Self-Compassion Break
  8. Include acts of kindness toward yourself
    The kindness architecture that builds well-being includes self-directed kindness — not just other-directed.
    Acts of Kindness, Made Practical
  9. Write letters for others to build compassion fluency
    Practice the compassionate letter format for a struggling friend first to warm up the voice.
    The Self-Compassion Letter, Made Practical
  10. Loving-kindness toward yourself
    Begin by directing the well-wishes inward — “may I be safe, happy, healthy, at ease.”
    Loving-Kindness (Metta) Meditation

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