Coaching practices for Developmental Conversation
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Developmental Conversation, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- When I ask my kid about their day I get one-word answers, and I realize I only ever ask about homework and chores
- Every conversation with my kid about their behavior turns into me laying down the law and them digging in, and I want a way to actually talk it through together
- We have a good talk, everyone leaves nodding and feeling better
- I have to bring people into a hard conversation, and I already know everyone’s going to walk in braced for a fight
- Every conversation I have about my own thinking is either people arguing to win or people just agreeing to make me feel better, and neither one ever shows me anything I couldn’t already see
Practices that may help
- Talk with your child about their day and interests
Genuine conversational interest builds vocabulary, trust, and the relationship buffer that makes limits land without conflict.
Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders) - Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Move to action
Close the conversation by deciding how decisions get made, then assigning who does what by when.
Crucial Conversations, Made Practical - Open every circle by naming shared values
Shared values create the psychological container that makes honest dialogue possible.
The Circle Process (Kay Pranis) - Engage in genuine philosophical dialogue
Have a conversation with the goal of getting clearer together, not of winning or validating.
The Examined Life - Difficult Conversations, Made Practical
The Harvard "Difficult Conversations" framework says every hard talk is really three at once — what happened, the feelings involved, and what it means for each person’s identity. The shift that changes everything is moving from blame to contribution and from arguing your story to learning theirs. It is a practitioner framework grounded in negotiation theory rather than controlled trials. - Spend real time on growth, not just tasks
Regularly leave the weeds and talk about career, skills, and where they’re headed.
Effective One-on-Ones, Made Practical - Conduct a genuine Socratic dialogue
Ask questions you do not already have the answer to, and follow wherever the argument leads.
The Socratic Method, Made Practical - Philosophical dialogue as a practice
Use careful, good-faith conversation — not debate — to examine your assumptions together.
Philosophy as a Way of Life - Use the talking piece to enforce equal voice
Only the person holding the talking piece speaks — everyone else listens.
The Circle Process (Kay Pranis)
Related concerns
- Structured Dialogue Tool
Write a dialogue between yourself and an imagined wise interlocutor on a question you are genuinely struggling with.
The written dialogue — inner dialogue as philosophical exercise
- Circle Dialogue Facilitation
Shared values create the psychological container that makes honest dialogue possible.
Open every circle by naming shared values
- Crucial Conversations As A Parent
Patterson and colleagues define a "crucial conversation" as one with high stakes, strong emotions, and opposing opinions — exactly when people default to silence or attack. The method centers on keeping the conversation safe, holding a mutual purpose, sharing your view with the STATE skills, and mastering the stories you tell yourself. It is a coherent practitioner framework rooted in established communication principles rather than a body of controlled trials.
- Philosophy Circle Group
Form or join a small group that meets regularly to examine how to live well — not just to succeed.
Creating a philosophical community of practice
- Socratic Questioning As A Parent
Socratic questioning is a disciplined method of asking probing questions to expose the foundations, assumptions, evidence, and implications of a claim — rather than asserting a counter-position. Richard Paul’s taxonomy provides the most practical framework for applying it. The method’s value is demonstrated by centuries of philosophical use and its adoption in clinical and educational practice; large-scale experimental evidence is limited.
- Values Based Conversation
Shared values create the psychological container that makes honest dialogue possible.
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