Coaching practices for Structured Dialogue Tool

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Structured Dialogue Tool, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I’ve been turning the same question over in my head for days and just looping
  • In these conversations I fire off question after question like an interrogation, and the other person closes up rather than opening
  • When I talk something over with someone I notice I’m really just defending the view I walked in with, and I want a conversation where I’d actually let the back-and-forth take me somewhere I didn’t plan to go.
  • We have a good talk, everyone leaves nodding and feeling better
  • Every conversation I have about my own thinking is either people arguing to win or people just agreeing to make me feel better, and neither one ever shows me anything I couldn’t already see

Practices that may help

  1. The written dialogue — inner dialogue as philosophical exercise
    Write a dialogue between yourself and an imagined wise interlocutor on a question you are genuinely struggling with.
    Pierre Hadot’s Spiritual Exercises
  2. Use OARS to make the person feel understood
    Open questions, Affirmations, Reflections, Summaries — the four core micro-skills.
    Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
  3. Conduct a genuine Socratic dialogue
    Ask questions you do not already have the answer to, and follow wherever the argument leads.
    The Socratic Method, Made Practical
  4. Move to action
    Close the conversation by deciding how decisions get made, then assigning who does what by when.
    Crucial Conversations, Made Practical
  5. Engage in genuine philosophical dialogue
    Have a conversation with the goal of getting clearer together, not of winning or validating.
    The Examined Life
  6. Philosophical dialogue as a practice
    Use careful, good-faith conversation — not debate — to examine your assumptions together.
    Philosophy as a Way of Life
  7. Mirror the last few words of what someone just said
    Repeat the final one to three words as a question — then stay silent.
    Mirroring and Matching, Made Practical
  8. Use the talking piece to enforce equal voice
    Only the person holding the talking piece speaks — everyone else listens.
    The Circle Process (Kay Pranis)
  9. Mirroring
    Repeat the last few words the other person said, as a question, then go silent.
    Never Split the Difference, In Practice
  10. Open every circle by naming shared values
    Shared values create the psychological container that makes honest dialogue possible.
    The Circle Process (Kay Pranis)

Related concerns

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