Coaching practices for Double Standard Check

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Double Standard Check, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• I wave through arguments on my side that I’d tear apart in a heartbeat if the other side made them
• I walked out of that sales pitch about to say yes to the "middle" option, and only later did it hit me that the pricey one they showed first was probably there just to make this one feel reasonable
• I keep getting frustrated that people aren’t hitting the bar
• I bend over backwards to be fair to everyone else and then quietly leave myself out of the equation entirely
• I check the same feeds dozens of times a day, mostly out of reflex, and 90% of the time there’s nothing there

Practices that may help

1. Apply the double-standard check: would I accept this reasoning if it pointed the other way?
   Test whether you are holding your team’s arguments to a lower bar than the other side’s.
   The Scout Mindset
2. Recognize when contrast is being used on you
   Awareness of the contrast principle is the antidote — evaluate options against an independent standard, not the presented sequence.
   The Contrast Principle, Made Practical
3. Check the Facts, Made Practical
   "Check the facts" is a DBT emotion regulation skill for testing whether an emotion is justified by the actual situation or whether it is firing based on an interpretation — a story the mind has added. The underlying mechanism (examining the evidence for a belief) is the same as cognitive restructuring in CBT, which has strong randomized-trial support for anxiety and depression. DBT packages it specifically as a regulation tool, to be used when the emotion may not fit the facts.
4. Agree in advance on what good performance looks like
   Performance conversations go badly because the standard was never made explicit — the reprimand is the first time it is stated.
   The One Minute Manager: Three Practices That Still Work
5. Be Fair: include yourself in the fairness you extend to others
   Apply the same standards of fairness to yourself that you would to someone you respect.
   FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships
6. Designate 2-3 scheduled checking windows per day
   Check social and news feeds only during specific time-boxed windows — not on demand.
   Defending Your Attention in the Attention Economy
7. Act as a rational social animal — remember your dual nature
   Before acting, check both: is this rational (consistent with reason and reality)? And is it social (does it serve others)?
   The Stoic Discipline of Action
8. Apply the same evidence standard regardless of whether you like the conclusion
   Grade the evidence before you know which conclusion it supports.
   Motivated Reasoning
9. Relativising the standards you use to judge yourself
   Notice the standard you are using to evaluate your life and ask where it came from and whether you chose it.
   Zhuangzi and the Practice of Perspective Shift
10. Set clear, single-point accountability
    One named owner, an agreed standard, and a check-in cadence set up front — not nagging.
    Effective Delegation, Made Practical

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