Coaching practices for Equanimity Before Tonglen
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Equanimity Before Tonglen, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- When I try to breathe in suffering from a raw, already-shaky place it just pulls me under rather than opening me
- My whole instinct is to push pain away and grab at anything that feels good, and I’m tired of how walled-off that makes me
- I’m trying to get to a place where things stop rattling me, but when I aim straight for that calm it comes out cold and detached
- I pass real suffering all day
- Every time I get near a certain kind of suffering in this practice I notice myself flinch and want to stop or look away
Practices that may help
- Prepare for tonglen with a brief equanimity grounding
Entering tonglen from a grounded, spacious state makes the practice sustainable rather than destabilising.
Tonglen: The Tibetan Practice of Taking and Sending - Tonglen: sending and taking
Breathe in suffering (yours and others’); breathe out relief and well-being.
Lojong: Tibetan Mind Training - Building equanimity on a foundation of metta and karuna
Develop loving-kindness and compassion first; equanimity built without warmth becomes indifference.
Upekkha: Cultivating Equanimity in Meditation and Life - Use flash tonglen in the moment of encountering suffering
A single in-breath of someone’s pain and an out-breath of goodwill is a complete act of tonglen.
Tonglen: The Tibetan Practice of Taking and Sending - Investigate resistance to the practice honestly
The impulse not to breathe in suffering is information about where your self-protective contraction lives.
Tonglen: The Tibetan Practice of Taking and Sending - Tonglen: The Tibetan Practice of Taking and Sending
Tonglen ("taking and sending") is a Tibetan Buddhist compassion practice in which the practitioner breathes in suffering — their own or another’s — and breathes out relief, ease, and goodwill. It works by deliberately moving toward pain rather than away from it, which gradually reduces the fear of suffering and expands the capacity for compassion. Evidence is largely clinical and mechanistic; direct RCTs on tonglen specifically are sparse, though compassion training more broadly shows meaningful effects. - Practice tonglen for your own suffering first
Use your own current pain as the object before extending the practice to others.
Tonglen: The Tibetan Practice of Taking and Sending - Integrate metta with equanimity to avoid compassion fatigue
Metta extended without equanimity can become distress; grounding goodwill in steady non-attachment makes it sustainable.
Metta Bhavana: The Practice of Loving-Kindness - Practicing equanimity by returning to the witness under pressure
Train the witness stance specifically during mild stress so it is available during intense stress.
The Witness Stance - Always abide by the three principles
Maintain your vow, don’t show off, and practise impartially with everyone — not just the people you like.
Lojong: Tibetan Mind Training
Related concerns
- Brief Tonglen Daily Life
A single in-breath of someone’s pain and an out-breath of goodwill is a complete act of tonglen.
Use flash tonglen in the moment of encountering suffering
- Directed Tonglen Practice
Tonglen ("taking and sending") is a Tibetan Buddhist compassion practice in which the practitioner breathes in suffering — their own or another’s — and breathes out relief, ease, and goodwill. It works by deliberately moving toward pain rather than away from it, which gradually reduces the fear of suffering and expands the capacity for compassion. Evidence is largely clinical and mechanistic; direct RCTs on tonglen specifically are sparse, though compassion training more broadly shows meaningful effects.
- Hot Dark Heavy Tonglen
Breathe in something hot, dark, and heavy; breathe out something cool, bright, and spacious.
Work with the classical two-breath texture
- How To Practice Tonglen Meditation
Tonglen ("taking and sending") is a Tibetan Buddhist compassion practice in which the practitioner breathes in suffering — their own or another’s — and breathes out relief, ease, and goodwill. It works by deliberately moving toward pain rather than away from it, which gradually reduces the fear of suffering and expands the capacity for compassion. Evidence is largely clinical and mechanistic; direct RCTs on tonglen specifically are sparse, though compassion training more broadly shows meaningful effects.
- Informal Tonglen Practice
A single in-breath of someone’s pain and an out-breath of goodwill is a complete act of tonglen.
- Sending And Taking Buddhist Practice
Tonglen ("taking and sending") is a Tibetan Buddhist compassion practice in which the practitioner breathes in suffering — their own or another’s — and breathes out relief, ease, and goodwill. It works by deliberately moving toward pain rather than away from it, which gradually reduces the fear of suffering and expands the capacity for compassion. Evidence is largely clinical and mechanistic; direct RCTs on tonglen specifically are sparse, though compassion training more broadly shows meaningful effects.
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