Coaching practices for Feelings vs Facts

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Feelings vs Facts, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• The feeling that I’m about to be exposed is so strong it just registers as fact
• I feel like a fraud, so I must be one
• This decision just "feels right" and I want to go with it, but I can’t shake the worry that the good feeling is really about my mood today, not about whether it’s actually a smart call.
• On paper this is the obviously rational call, but there’s a gut unease about it nobody will say out loud because we can’t justify it logically
• Okay, I’ve sorted out whether the feeling fits

Practices that may help

1. Separate feelings from facts
   Treat "I feel incompetent" as a feeling to examine, not a fact to act on.
   Overcoming Imposter Syndrome, Made Practical
2. Emotional reasoning
   Treat a feeling as direct evidence about external reality: "I feel like a fraud, so I must be one."
   Cognitive Distortions: The Thinking Errors Behind Anxiety and Depression
3. Check whether your judgment is tracking affect, not the target attribute
   When a decision "just feels right," ask whether the feeling is about the actual question or about your current emotional state.
   Attribute Substitution: When Your Brain Answers a Different Question
4. Red hat: name the emotions without justifying them
   Give feelings a legitimate place in the discussion — the red hat makes emotional data explicit so it stops running covertly.
   Six Thinking Hats, Made Practical
5. Decide on a regulation strategy based on what the facts actually show
   Use the outcome of checking the facts to choose the right next step — not the same step every time.
   Check the Facts, Made Practical
6. Check the facts first
   Decide whether the emotion actually fits the situation before doing anything about it.
   Opposite Action: Acting Against the Emotion’s Urge
7. Notice and name mixed or contradictory emotions simultaneously
   When something significant happens, look for two or more emotions that coexist — even contradictory ones.
   The Feeling Wheel: Building Emotional Vocabulary
8. Check the facts
   Before acting on an emotion, ask whether your interpretation of the situation actually fits the evidence.
   DBT Emotion Regulation Skills, Made Practical
9. Identify the interpretation driving the emotion
   Find the specific thought or belief that is generating the emotional response — not the event, but the meaning you assigned.
   Check the Facts, Made Practical
10. Ask whether the emotion fits the facts
    After checking, decide whether your emotion is warranted by the actual facts — not the interpretation.
    Check the Facts, Made Practical

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