Coaching practices for How and What Questions Negotiation

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How and What Questions Negotiation, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• They’re pushing a demand on me that just isn’t workable, and if I flat-out refuse it’ll blow up
• The second they push back I either cave completely or harden into all-or-nothing, because I walked in without ever deciding what I could actually live with
• Going into this negotiation I have no real read on how much the other side actually needs the deal versus how easily they could walk
• We’re both dug into our numbers and it feels totally deadlocked, but I have a hunch we’re not actually that far apart underneath
• They keep pushing a demand on me and every time I push back with a flat “no” it just hardens them

Practices that may help

1. Calibrated Questions, Made Practical
   Calibrated questions are open "How" and "What" questions that hand the other party a problem to solve, letting you steer a negotiation or difficult conversation without commands or ultimatums. The technique comes from Chris Voss’s FBI hostage-negotiation work; its mechanism is grounded in autonomy psychology, though the specific scripts are practitioner craft rather than a lab-validated protocol.
2. Calibrated questions
   Ask open “How” and “What” questions that hand the other side the problem to solve.
   Never Split the Difference, In Practice
3. Negotiate: know your minimum and be willing to give and take
   Decide in advance what you are willing to accept short of your full ask, and be ready to offer something in exchange.
   DEAR MAN: DBT’s Skill for Asking for What You Want Effectively
4. Ask what happens if there is no deal
   Surface the other side’s BATNA by asking what they do if this does not work out.
   Calibrated Questions, Made Practical
5. Principled Negotiation, Made Practical
   Principled negotiation, developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in Getting to Yes, replaces positional bargaining with a method built on four elements: separate the people from the problem, focus on interests rather than positions, generate options for mutual gain, and insist on objective criteria. It aims for agreements that are better for both parties than their alternatives — without requiring either to capitulate or play hardball.
6. Focus on interests, not positions
   Ask why a position is taken — the underlying interest is almost always more negotiable than the stated demand.
   Principled Negotiation, Made Practical
7. Ask calibrated questions
   Use open "how" and "what" questions that hand them the problem to solve with you.
   Tactical Empathy
8. Expand the pie before you divide it
   In negotiations, surface what the other side actually values most before claiming your share.
   Give and Take: The Giver Advantage
9. Get to “No”, not “Yes”
   Ask questions that invite a safe “No” so the other side feels in control.
   Never Split the Difference, In Practice
10. Run a negotiation debrief to learn what value was left on the table
    After closing, compare priorities with the other side to see the trades you both missed.
    Expanding the Pie: Negotiation Beyond Splitting the Difference

Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.