Coaching practices for How Can I Deal with a Disgusting Coworker

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How Can I Deal with a Disgusting Coworker, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• Things with my manager have gone cold and transactional, and we’re both just avoiding it and quietly resenting each other
• Something a coworker did landed way harder than it should have and I’ve been stewing on it all day
• I think my boss is about to make the wrong call and I’m biting my tongue to keep the peace, then quietly stewing about it after
• I keep dropping problems on my boss’s desk and waiting for them to tell me what to do, and I can feel it reads as me not owning my work
• I’ve told my people a hundred times they can disagree with me, but they still don’t

Practices that may help

1. Repair a damaged leader-follower relationship deliberately
   Take active steps to reset a deteriorated relationship, rather than allowing avoidance to compound the damage.
   Leader-Member Exchange (LMX), Made Practical
2. Downward arrow for interpreting others’ behavior
   Use the arrow technique to identify the core belief driving your worst-case interpretation of what someone did.
   The Downward Arrow: Uncovering the Core Beliefs Behind Distress
3. Disagree with your manager constructively
   State your disagreement clearly, give your reasoning, and then commit to the decision — without sacrificing either honesty or loyalty.
   Managing Up: Practical Skills for Working with Your Boss
4. Bring a proposed solution when you bring a problem
   Describe the problem and your recommended path before asking for a decision.
   Managing Up: Practical Skills for Working with Your Boss
5. Teach speak-up skills, not just encourage speaking up
   Give team members specific language for raising concerns, not just permission to raise them.
   Psychological Safety in Teams
6. Interrupt contempt -- the relationship's single most corrosive pattern
   Contempt -- moral superiority, mockery, eye-rolling -- is the strongest predictor of relationship breakdown.
   The Four Horsemen: Gottman's Warning Signs of Relationship Breakdown
7. Show up for the person, not just the deliverable
   Acknowledge what is happening in someone’s life when it is clearly affecting them — before addressing the work.
   Caring Personally: The Foundation of Radical Candor
8. Unpleasant events calendar: observing difficulty without catastrophizing
   Track one unpleasant event per day for a week, noticing how you automatically relate to discomfort.
   Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), Made Practical
9. Give voice to those with uncomfortable perspectives
   Actively surface and protect the dissenting or marginal voices the system wants to silence.
   Adaptive Leadership, Made Practical
10. Modify the environment to reduce sensory aversion
    The context in which you do a task is part of its aversiveness — change the container.
    Task Aversion and Procrastination

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