Coaching practices for How Do I Stop Feeling Responsible for Everything That Happens to Me

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How Do I Stop Feeling Responsible for Everything That Happens to Me, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• When something goes wrong around me I automatically assume it’s my fault
• I keep saying "they make me," "I have no choice," "I had to"
• I keep waiting for them to change so I can finally feel okay, and it never comes
• I keep waiting for someone else to fix my situation or change so things get better
• One bad thing happens and instantly it’s "this always happens, it ruins everything, and it’s all my fault"

Practices that may help

1. Personalization and self-blame
   Take excessive personal responsibility for negative events that were partly or wholly outside your control.
   Cognitive Distortions: The Thinking Errors Behind Anxiety and Depression
2. Habit 1: Be proactive
   Take responsibility for your responses; act on what you can control, not on what happens to you.
   The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Made Practical
3. Radical responsibility (cleaning)
   Treat every disturbance in your experience as something you can "clean" from your own perception.
   Ho'oponopono: Hawaiian Forgiveness and Reconciliation
4. The practice of self-responsibility
   Own that you are the author of your choices, actions, and the fulfillment of your wants.
   The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical
5. Identify the three Ps in your explanation
   Check whether your explanation of a setback is permanent, pervasive, or personal — and how accurate each is.
   Learned Optimism: Seligman’s ABCDE Method
6. Sort the situation into controllables and uncontrollables
   Split any stressful situation into what you can influence and what you can’t, then act only on the first list.
   Locus of Control: Building a Sense of Agency
7. Classify every concern as within or outside your control
   Before reacting to any difficulty, ask the diagnostic question: "Is this actually within my influence?"
   The Serenity Prayer as a Practice Framework
8. Correct blaming by adding accountability for self
   When blaming, add an honest account of your own contribution to the problem.
   The Satir Model
9. The dichotomy of control
   Sort every situation into what is up to you (judgments, choices, effort) and what is not (outcomes, others, the past).
   Stoicism, as a Set of Practices
10. Replace defensiveness with partial responsibility
    Defensiveness is a claim of innocence; taking even partial responsibility is the only way forward.
    The Four Horsemen: Gottman's Warning Signs of Relationship Breakdown

Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.