Coaching practices for How to Take Responsibility

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Take Responsibility, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• I keep waiting for someone else to fix my situation or change so things get better
• When something goes wrong around me I automatically assume it’s my fault
• When something goes wrong my first move is to find who dropped the ball, and when it goes well I quietly feel it was mostly me
• I keep saying "they make me," "I have no choice," "I had to"
• The second they raise a complaint I’m already explaining why it’s not my fault or pointing back at something they did

Practices that may help

1. The practice of self-responsibility
   Own that you are the author of your choices, actions, and the fulfillment of your wants.
   The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical
2. Personalization and self-blame
   Take excessive personal responsibility for negative events that were partly or wholly outside your control.
   Cognitive Distortions: The Thinking Errors Behind Anxiety and Depression
3. Look out the window for credit, in the mirror for blame
   When things go well, credit others; when things go wrong, look at yourself first.
   Level 5 Leadership: Humility and Will in Great Leaders
4. Habit 1: Be proactive
   Take responsibility for your responses; act on what you can control, not on what happens to you.
   The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Made Practical
5. Replace defensiveness with partial responsibility
   Defensiveness is a claim of innocence; taking even partial responsibility is the only way forward.
   The Four Horsemen: Gottman's Warning Signs of Relationship Breakdown
6. Take extreme ownership of outcomes — even ones that aren’t your fault
   Claiming ownership of everything in your domain — even external failures — is the fastest path to fixing them.
   Discipline Equals Freedom: Jocko Willink's Framework
7. Take extreme ownership
   When the team fails, the leader looks first at what the leader did or failed to do.
   Extreme Ownership, Made Practical
8. Correct blaming by adding accountability for self
   When blaming, add an honest account of your own contribution to the problem.
   The Satir Model
9. Move from blame to contribution
   Ask how each side contributed to the situation instead of who is at fault.
   Difficult Conversations, Made Practical
10. Notice and question the story you’ve already told yourself
    Between the missed commitment and the conversation, you have built a narrative — and that narrative will leak into the conversation.
    Crucial Accountability: Holding People to Commitments That Matter

Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.