Coaching practices for How to Address Unfair Treatment at Work

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Address Unfair Treatment at Work, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• The person across from me is clearly churning with some big feeling
• I bend over backwards to be fair to everyone else and then quietly leave myself out of the equation entirely
• I’ve told my people a hundred times they can disagree with me, but they still don’t
• I have to make an ask that I know is going to land as self-serving or unfair, and I’m dreading the moment they think it
• There’s a low hum of resentment building in me about who does what around the house

Practices that may help

1. Label the emotion
   Name the feeling you’re sensing — "It sounds like this feels unfair" — to take its heat down.
   Tactical Empathy
2. Be Fair: include yourself in the fairness you extend to others
   Apply the same standards of fairness to yourself that you would to someone you respect.
   FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships
3. Teach speak-up skills, not just encourage speaking up
   Give team members specific language for raising concerns, not just permission to raise them.
   Psychological Safety in Teams
4. Run an accusation audit before difficult asks
   Name the worst things the other person might think about you or your request — before they do.
   Labeling Emotions in Negotiation, Made Practical
5. Share tasks equitably — and feel equitable about it
   Divide practical responsibilities in a way both partners experience as fair.
   Relationship Maintenance Behaviors
6. Use labeling across power asymmetries — with care
   Labeling your senior’s frustration is more delicate than labeling a peer’s — name the stakes, not just the feeling.
   Labeling Emotions in Negotiation, Made Practical
7. Complain about the specific situation, not the person’s character
   Target the behavior or situation, never the person’s character or worth.
   The Soft Startup: How You Begin a Difficult Conversation Determines How It Ends
8. Respond immediately and visibly to safety violations
   When safety is violated — a person is mocked, shut down, or punished for dissent — address it in the moment.
   The Four Stages of Psychological Safety
9. Make the harm visible through an impact statement
   The person who caused harm must hear — in detail — what the harm actually did to the person harmed.
   Restorative Justice (Howard Zehr)
10. Show up for the person, not just the deliverable
    Acknowledge what is happening in someone’s life when it is clearly affecting them — before addressing the work.
    Caring Personally: The Foundation of Radical Candor

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