Coaching practices for How to Be a Better Conversationalist

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Be a Better Conversationalist, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I dominate conversations without meaning to
  • I catch myself just waiting for my turn to talk instead of really hearing the person in front of me
  • I walk into conversations preoccupied with how I’m coming across
  • In conversations that matter I run out of things to say and end up filling the silence or jumping in with my own take
  • People seem to wrap up fast when they talk to me, like they’re not sure I’m still with them, and I don’t know how to keep them going without jumping in and taking over the conversation.

Practices that may help

  1. Be a good listener; encourage others to talk about themselves
    Most people would rather have a great listener than a great talker.
    How to Win Friends and Influence People, Made Practical
  2. Genuine curiosity about others
    Ask real questions and listen, instead of waiting to talk.
    The Good Life: Lessons from the Harvard Study
  3. Become genuinely interested in other people
    You make more friends in two months by being interested in others than in two years trying to make them interested in you.
    How to Win Friends and Influence People, Made Practical
  4. Mirror the last few words of what someone just said
    Repeat the final one to three words as a question — then stay silent.
    Mirroring and Matching, Made Practical
  5. Use minimal encouragers
    Small signals — "mm-hm", "go on", a nod — that keep the speaker talking without taking the floor.
    Active Listening, Made Practical
  6. Listen charismatically
    Make the other person feel they’re the only one in the room — pause before you reply.
    The Charisma Myth, Made Practical
  7. Learn to look
    Monitor the conversation and yourself for the moment it turns crucial and safety drops.
    Crucial Conversations, Made Practical
  8. Ask open-ended questions
    Replace yes/no questions with ones that invite the speaker to open up.
    Active Listening, Made Practical
  9. Social skill
    Manage relationships, navigate conflict, and influence well by applying the other four skills in interaction.
    Emotional Intelligence, Made Practical
  10. Use OARS to make the person feel understood
    Open questions, Affirmations, Reflections, Summaries — the four core micro-skills.
    Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical

Related concerns

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