Coaching practices for How to Deal with My Teen Daughter Who is Stealing and Lying
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Deal with My Teen Daughter Who is Stealing and Lying, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- Every conversation with my kid about their behavior turns into me laying down the law and them digging in, and I want a way to actually talk it through together
- My kid blows up over the same things again and again, and I keep calling it defiance or attitude
- The same misbehavior keeps coming back no matter what I do about it, and I’m starting to suspect I’m only swatting at the surface
- When my kid is melting down I feel trapped between two bad options
- When my kid acts out I lose it
Practices that may help
- Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Identify the lagging skill behind the behavior
Name the cognitive skill the child is missing, not the behavior you want to stop.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Identify the mistaken goal behind the misbehavior
Dreikurs argued that misbehavior is always purposeful — the child is pursuing belonging or significance through a mistaken strategy.
Natural and Logical Consequences (Rudolf Dreikurs) - Use empathy to de-escalate, not to capitulate
Name the child’s emotional state without agreeing with every demand — empathy and limits can coexist.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Refuse to energize negative behavior
Give consequences briefly and blandly — no energy, no lecture, no drama.
The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser) - Focus on solutions, not blame
Ask "What can we do to fix this?" rather than "Why did you do that?" — one opens, the other closes.
Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen) - Use family meetings to solve problems together
When children help solve the problem, they own the solution — and solutions they own, they actually follow.
Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen) - Recognize when Plan A (unilateral imposition) makes things worse
Adult-imposed solutions can win the battle and lose the war — notice when enforcement is escalating rather than solving.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Offer concrete repair
Say what you’ll do to make it right or prevent a repeat — not just that you feel bad.
The Art of Apology - Use logical consequences that fit the behavior
A consequence that is directly connected to the behavior teaches cause and effect instead of just imposing discomfort.
Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders)
Related concerns
- How Do I Deal With A Child That Refuses To Do A Chore Or Task
Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
- How Do I Deal With My Friends Daughter Taking Away Toys From My Son
Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
- How Do You Handle A Child Who Enjoys Getting Others Into Trouble
Dreikurs argued that misbehavior is always purposeful — the child is pursuing belonging or significance through a mistaken strategy.
Identify the mistaken goal behind the misbehavior
- How To Address A Rude Teenager At Family Gatherings
Give consequences briefly and blandly — no energy, no lecture, no drama.
Refuse to energize negative behavior
- Teen Displays Bullying Behavior Towards His Siblings And Also Towards My Kids How To Handle
Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
- Annoying Kid At The Park
Adult-imposed solutions can win the battle and lose the war — notice when enforcement is escalating rather than solving.
Recognize when Plan A (unilateral imposition) makes things worse
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