Coaching practices for How to Feel Feelings Without Being Overwhelmed

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • With feelings it’s all or nothing for me
  • Every time I try to face the hard stuff I go straight at the worst of it to just get it over with, and it floods me
  • When a big feeling crashes over me it’s like I become it
  • I’m stuck at one of two extremes with hard feelings
  • When a feeling grabs me I’m so deep inside it that I become it

Practices that may help

  1. Stay with sensation without flooding (titrate)
    Build the capacity to feel a sensation in tolerable doses instead of numbing or being swept away.
    Interoception, Explained
  2. Titration (work in tiny, tolerable doses)
    Approach a hard sensation or memory in small sips, not all at once, so you stay regulated.
    Somatic Experiencing, Honestly Explained
  3. Mindfulness of the current emotion
    Observe the emotion as a wave passing through — without judging it, feeding it, or running from it.
    DBT Emotion Regulation Skills, Made Practical
  4. Mindful awareness of suffering
    Hold painful feelings in balanced awareness — neither suppressing them nor being swept away by them.
    Self-Compassion, Made Practical
  5. Add distance with your own name
    Label from a step back: "Sam is feeling overwhelmed" instead of "I am overwhelmed."
    Affect Labeling: Name It to Tame It
  6. Give yourself permission to feel
    Drop the judgment about whether you should or shouldn’t feel a certain way — the emotion is already there.
    Radical Honesty About Emotions, Made Practical
  7. Widen the window in small doses
    Touch a hard feeling briefly, then return to safety — and slowly the window grows.
    The Window of Tolerance: Your Optimal Arousal Zone
  8. Acceptance (willingness)
    Make room for unwanted feelings instead of struggling against them, so they stop running the show.
    Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Made Practical
  9. Clear a space
    Set down each burden one by one to find the calm place underneath them.
    Focusing and the Felt Sense, Made Practical
  10. RAIN — Allow the experience to be here
    Let the feeling exist as it is for a moment, without pushing it away or feeding it.
    Radical Acceptance, Made Practical

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