Coaching practices for How to Handle Emotions Book

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Handle Emotions Book, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• When a big feeling crashes over me it’s like I become it
• I can stay calm reading about it, but the moment I’m actually in the situation all my good intentions vanish and I react
• My kid melts down and my instinct is to fix it or shut it down fast, and the tantrum just gets bigger
• I try to keep the emotion out and stay reasonable, but it never actually stays out
• When my child gets upset my whole reflex is to make it stop as fast as possible

Practices that may help

1. Mindfulness of the current emotion
   Observe the emotion as a wave passing through — without judging it, feeding it, or running from it.
   DBT Emotion Regulation Skills, Made Practical
2. Graduated anger inoculation (stress inoculation exposure)
   Practice coping with anger in imagination — from mild triggers to intense ones — before you face them live.
   Novaco Anger Management, Made Practical
3. Radical Honesty About Emotions, Made Practical
   Naming and honestly expressing what you feel — rather than suppressing, masking, or performing emotions — is linked to lower physiological stress, better relationships, and more effective self-regulation. Decades of research on expressive writing and emotional disclosure support the general principle, though effects are modest and depend heavily on how disclosure is done.
4. Labeling emotions in children: the parenting application
   When a child is upset, name their emotion aloud and validate it before attempting to solve or redirect.
   Name It to Tame It: Affect Labeling in Practice
5. Bring feelings into the conversation deliberately
   Name the emotions instead of leaking them — unspoken feelings don’t leave, they distort.
   Difficult Conversations, Made Practical
6. Treat the emotional moment as a teaching opportunity
   When your child is upset, slow down instead of speeding toward resolution.
   Emotion Coaching (John Gottman)
7. O — Observe: Notice What Is Actually Happening
   After the stop, observe the situation, your emotions, and your urges — without judgment and without acting on them.
   The STOP Skill: A DBT Technique for Crisis Moments
8. Riding the emotion wave with anicca awareness
   When a strong emotion hits, track it through its full arc — notice it peak and fall without fleeing or amplifying.
   Anicca: Working Practically with Impermanence
9. Prepare coping self-talk in advance
   Script what you’ll say to yourself at each stage of an anger escalation before it happens.
   Novaco Anger Management, Made Practical
10. Practice emotion coaching during low-stakes moments
    Build the skill in small moments so it’s available in the big ones.
    Emotion Coaching (John Gottman)

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