Coaching practices for How to Make it Right
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Make it Right, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I’ve told them I feel terrible about it and that I’ll do better, and it’s still not landing
- I tell someone what went wrong but never say what I actually want instead, so they walk away knowing they messed up with no idea what "right" looks like
- I think I understood someone and then it turns out I had it wrong and we’re back in the same misunderstanding
- I need to ask someone to change something, but the moment I lead with the criticism they go defensive and dig in
- I keep waiting until the argument's over to make things right, and by then the damage is done
Practices that may help
- Offer concrete repair
Say what you’ll do to make it right or prevent a repeat — not just that you feel bad.
The Art of Apology - Add a forward-looking request to SBI
Pair the impact statement with a specific, doable request for next time.
The SBI Feedback Model, Made Practical - Paraphrase to check understanding
Restate the speaker’s point in your own words and ask if you got it right.
Active Listening, Made Practical - Apply reciprocity in feedback conversations
Offer a genuine concession or acknowledgment of your own role before asking someone to change.
The Rule of Reciprocity, Made Practical - Make small repairs during conflict -- not only big apologies after
A touch, a softer tone, a brief I love you mid-argument is repair -- use it.
Repair Attempts: Gottman's Key to Surviving Conflict in Relationships - Ask whether the emotion fits the facts
After checking, decide whether your emotion is warranted by the actual facts — not the interpretation.
Check the Facts, Made Practical - Repair specifically when you were the one who caused harm
A real apology names what you did, why it hurt, and what you will do differently -- not just I am sorry.
Repair Attempts: Gottman's Key to Surviving Conflict in Relationships - Ask the three restorative questions
Start every harm conversation with: who was hurt, what do they need, and who is responsible for meeting those needs?
Restorative Justice (Howard Zehr) - Facilitated reconciliation circle
Bring all affected parties together with a neutral guide to name harm, ask forgiveness, and restore relationship.
Ho'oponopono: Hawaiian Forgiveness and Reconciliation - Examine the evidence for and against
Systematically list what supports your interpretation and what doesn’t — like a fair-minded lawyer, not a prosecutor.
Check the Facts, Made Practical
Related concerns
- How To Process Being Wronged
Face what happened deliberately and calmly, without minimizing it or replaying it as a victim.
R — Recall the hurt
- Apology And Repair
A real apology names what you did, why it hurt, and what you will do differently -- not just I am sorry.
Repair specifically when you were the one who caused harm
- Connection Before Correction
A child who feels connected to you is far more receptive to your guidance than one who feels attacked.
Connect before you correct
- Got Into A Technical Argument With My Interviewer Should I Apologize
Acknowledge a real fault plainly, without crumbling into excessive apology or shame.
Negative assertion (own your mistakes calmly)
- Gottman Repair Apology
A repair attempt is any move -- humor, an apology, a softened tone, a bid to take a break -- that tries to lower conflict tension before it spirals. John Gottman's research found that whether couples successfully made and accepted repair attempts was a key marker separating stable from distressed couples. It is not avoiding conflict that matters most; it is the ability to repair within it.
- Guilt Repair Signal
Guilt is most useful when it points to a concrete repair action rather than prolonged suffering.
Use guilt as a repair signal, not a punishment
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.