Coaching practices for How to Move on From Death of a Loved One

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • People keep telling me I need to let them go and move on, and everything in me refuses
  • I know in my head that they’re gone, but it still hasn’t landed
  • Everyone keeps telling me to move on and get over the loss, but the grief is huge and it won’t go
  • I want their life to keep meaning something in the world, not just end
  • They handled the money, or the cooking, or were just the person I leaned on

Practices that may help

  1. Task 4: Find an enduring connection with the deceased
    Relocate the relationship from physical presence to an internal, meaningful connection.
    Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical
  2. Task 1: Accept the full reality of the loss
    Move from intellectual acknowledgement to full emotional acceptance that the person is gone.
    Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical
  3. Treating grief as a form of gratitude
    When something ends and you feel grief, recognise that the grief is proportional to the love — and let it be both.
    Mono no Aware: The Pathos of Things
  4. Carry forward the person’s legacy in your own life
    Identify values, projects, or commitments the person cared about and carry them forward yourself.
    Continuing Bonds in Grief, Made Practical
  5. Task 3: Adjust to a world without the person
    Actively develop new skills, roles, and identity elements to navigate the changed life.
    Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical
  6. Speak or write to the person directly
    Address the deceased in letters, journal entries, or internal dialogue as a form of active continuing connection.
    Continuing Bonds in Grief, Made Practical
  7. Find a community that recognises your specific loss
    Seek out people who have experienced the same type of loss — online or in person.
    Disenfranchised Grief, Made Practical
  8. Map the assumptive world the loss disrupted
    Identify which of your core beliefs about life, self, and the future the loss has challenged.
    Meaning Reconstruction in Grief, Made Practical
  9. Construct a coherent narrative of the loss
    Tell the full story of the loss — who the person was, what happened, and what life is now.
    Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical
  10. Look honestly for what has grown or changed for the better
    Without minimising the loss, notice any growth, change, or perspective that has emerged from it.
    Meaning Reconstruction in Grief, Made Practical

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