Coaching practices for How to Overcome Low Self Esteem

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• So much of my energy goes into managing how good I look
• I shrink my life down to avoid any chance of looking foolish
• Every time I try to tell myself I’m not the worthless, incompetent person I think I am, the whole thing snaps right back
• When I try to reassure myself I’m actually good at this, I come up empty
• I only seem to know how I’m doing by measuring myself against other people

Practices that may help

1. Shift the goal from high self-esteem to authentic self-regard
   Stop trying to feel good about yourself and start aiming for honest, compassionate self-knowledge.
   Self-Worth vs. Self-Esteem
2. Shame-attacking exercises
   Do something mildly embarrassing on purpose to prove you can survive and function through discomfort.
   Unconditional Self-Acceptance
3. Update the self-concept incrementally
   Revise one specific self-belief at a time — not the whole identity at once.
   Self-Verification Theory, Made Practical
4. Keep an evidence log
   Record concrete proof of your competence to counter the brain’s habit of discounting it.
   Overcoming Imposter Syndrome, Made Practical
5. Reduce social comparison as a source of self-definition
   Stop using other people’s qualities as the primary benchmark for your own — it imports their standards into your self-concept.
   Self-Concept Clarity, Made Practical
6. Affirm a different value after a failure
   When you fail in one area, actively invest in a domain where you know you contribute.
   Self-Affirmation Theory, Made Practical
7. Shifting body image from appearance to function
   Valuing what your body can do, not just how it looks, improves how you feel about it.
   Strength Training for Confidence
8. Write about a value that matters to you
   Before a stressful or threatening situation, spend five minutes writing about a value that is genuinely important to you.
   Self-Affirmation Theory, Made Practical
9. The practice of living consciously
   Bring awareness to what you are doing and seeing, rather than acting on autopilot or avoidance.
   The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical
10. Use affirmation of values, not affirmation of ability
    Affirm that you are a good person with important values — not that you are good at the specific thing you are anxious about.
    Self-Affirmation Theory, Made Practical

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