Coaching practices for Taking Responsibility

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Taking Responsibility, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• When something goes wrong around me I automatically assume it’s my fault
• I keep waiting for someone else to fix my situation or change so things get better
• I keep saying "they make me," "I have no choice," "I had to"
• There’s a decision I keep half-defending with a fog of "well, the circumstances, the other people, what else could I have done"
• Every time I say sorry I can’t resist tacking on "but you were also..." or "but I only did it because..."

Practices that may help

1. Personalization and self-blame
   Take excessive personal responsibility for negative events that were partly or wholly outside your control.
   Cognitive Distortions: The Thinking Errors Behind Anxiety and Depression
2. The practice of self-responsibility
   Own that you are the author of your choices, actions, and the fulfillment of your wants.
   The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical
3. Habit 1: Be proactive
   Take responsibility for your responses; act on what you can control, not on what happens to you.
   The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Made Practical
4. Take radical responsibility for your choices
   Own every choice completely — including its unintended consequences and the unchosen conditions within which you chose.
   Existentialism and Radical Choice
5. Take responsibility without the “but”
   Own your part fully; the word “but” deletes everything before it.
   The Art of Apology
6. Take extreme ownership of outcomes — even ones that aren’t your fault
   Claiming ownership of everything in your domain — even external failures — is the fastest path to fixing them.
   Discipline Equals Freedom: Jocko Willink's Framework
7. Notice and question the story you’ve already told yourself
   Between the missed commitment and the conversation, you have built a narrative — and that narrative will leak into the conversation.
   Crucial Accountability: Holding People to Commitments That Matter
8. Look out the window for credit, in the mirror for blame
   When things go well, credit others; when things go wrong, look at yourself first.
   Level 5 Leadership: Humility and Will in Great Leaders
9. Replace defensiveness with partial responsibility
   Defensiveness is a claim of innocence; taking even partial responsibility is the only way forward.
   The Four Horsemen: Gottman's Warning Signs of Relationship Breakdown
10. Transfer authority with the responsibility
    Give people the decision rights and resources the task actually requires.
    Effective Delegation, Made Practical

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