Coaching practices for Howard Glasser Intense Children

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Howard Glasser Intense Children, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I want my child to carry a solid sense of who they are even when I’m not there to remind them
  • When my kid acts out I lose it
  • There are certain moments
  • My child has gotten so used to being "the difficult one" that they act like it’s just who they are
  • I only ever speak up to my kid when something’s wrong

Practices that may help

  1. The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
    Howard Glasser’s Nurtured Heart Approach holds that intense, challenging children are energized children who have learned that misbehavior is the most reliable way to get adult attention and engagement. The method systematically reverses that pattern by delivering rich, specific recognition for positive moments and refusing to energize negative behavior. Evidence is primarily clinical and observational — RCTs are limited, but teacher and parent studies show meaningful reductions in behavioral referrals and improved classroom climate.
  2. Build the child’s inner wealth narrative over time
    Consistently reflect back who the child is becoming, not just what they’re doing.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  3. Refuse to energize negative behavior
    Give consequences briefly and blandly — no energy, no lecture, no drama.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  4. Recognize what is not happening with proactive recognition
    Catch the child not misbehaving and name the success explicitly.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  5. Use experiential recognition to highlight strengths in the moment
    Catch the child demonstrating a virtue and name the virtue directly.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  6. Deliver active recognition of ordinary positive moments
    Narrate what the child is doing right in real time, even when it is unremarkable.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  7. Build mindsight by reflecting inner experience
    Describe your own inner experience in everyday conversation to build the child’s "mind-seeing" capacity.
    The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
  8. Cultivate a "yes brain": curiosity, courage, and resilience over reactivity
    Respond to the child’s world with curiosity and openness rather than threat and control.
    The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
  9. The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
    Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson's Whole-Brain Child framework draws on neuroscience to explain why children behave as they do and offers strategies that work with the developing brain rather than against it. The core insight is that children's emotional storms reflect genuine neurological immaturity — particularly in the prefrontal cortex — not moral deficiency. The practices are clinically endorsed and mechanistically grounded; RCTs of the Whole-Brain Child program specifically are limited.
  10. Use special time to fill the connection cup before problems escalate
    A proactive ten-minute connection recharge can prevent an afternoon of battles.
    Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)

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