Coaching practices for Integrity in Conflict
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Integrity in Conflict, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I walk away from conflicts having caved again
- When the pressure builds in a conversation, I cave on something I actually believe in just to make the discomfort stop
- Something’s genuinely wrong here and there’s no time to coax everyone to a comfortable yes
- We solve the immediate thing but the same ugly dynamic underneath stays exactly the same, so the next disagreement plays out identically
- We both keep digging into our positions and neither of us is really hearing why the other one cares
Practices that may help
- FAST: maintaining self-respect in difficult interactions
Fair, no Apologies, Stick to values, Truthful — the self-respect compass for high-pressure conversations.
DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness: Getting What You Need Without Destroying the Relationship - Stick to Values: act consistently with what actually matters to you
Before compromising a position, check whether the compromise conflicts with a core value — and hold if it does.
FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships - Competing (assertive, uncooperative)
Pursue your own position firmly when speed, principle, or stakes outweigh the relationship cost.
The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles - Transform the relationship, not just the issue
Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
The Third Alternative, Made Practical - Collaborating (assertive and cooperative)
Work the underlying interests until you find a solution that genuinely meets both sides’ needs.
The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles - Engage in productive ideological conflict
Teams that avoid conflict don’t avoid disagreement — they bury it, where it grows into resentment and bad decisions.
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Made Practical - Use fierce self-compassion to stay in hard conversations
Stay present in conflict by meeting your own distress with compassion, so you don't flee or attack.
Fierce Self-Compassion, Made Practical - The practice of personal integrity
Keep your behavior aligned with your stated values — match your walk to your talk.
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical - Separate the person from the problem
Treat the conflict as a problem you face together, not a contest you fight each other.
The Third Alternative, Made Practical - Use Collaborating when the relationship and the solution both matter
Collaborating — high assertive, high cooperative — finds a solution that genuinely works for both parties, but it takes time.
The Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)
Related concerns
- Creative Conflict Resolution
Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
Transform the relationship, not just the issue
- Getting Results The Agile Way Ags During Conflict
J.D. Meier’s Agile Results (also called Agile Getting Started or AGS) is a time-management framework built on a simple rule: name three outcomes at the day, week, month, and year level, and focus your effort on completing them. The Monday Vision / Daily Outcomes / Friday Reflection rhythm is a practitioner structure grounded in goal-specificity and reflection research, not a formally studied protocol.
- How To Resolve Conflict Creatively
Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
- How To Stay Grounded In Conflict
Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
- Pay Yourself First During Conflict
Pursue your own position firmly when speed, principle, or stakes outweigh the relationship cost.
Competing (assertive, uncooperative)
- Synergy In Conflict
Collaborating — high assertive, high cooperative — finds a solution that genuinely works for both parties, but it takes time.
Use Collaborating when the relationship and the solution both matter
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