Coaching practices for Synergy in Conflict
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Synergy in Conflict, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- We’re both dug into opposing positions and treating it like one of us has to lose, but this is someone I’ll keep working with and the outcome genuinely matters to both of us
- Somewhere in this I stopped seeing a problem we both have and started seeing the other person AS the problem
- We both keep digging into our positions and neither of us is really hearing why the other one cares
- Every disagreement turns into me versus them, like we’re opponents trying to win instead of two people up against the same problem
- We’re stuck — they want one thing, I want another, and the best we ever do is split the difference and both walk away a little unhappy, when I have a nagging sense there’s a better answer neither of us has found.
Practices that may help
- Use Collaborating when the relationship and the solution both matter
Collaborating — high assertive, high cooperative — finds a solution that genuinely works for both parties, but it takes time.
The Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) - Separate the person from the problem
Treat the conflict as a problem you face together, not a contest you fight each other.
The Third Alternative, Made Practical - Collaborating (assertive and cooperative)
Work the underlying interests until you find a solution that genuinely meets both sides’ needs.
The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles - Fight the problem, not each other
Reorient conflict so both partners face the problem together rather than facing each other.
Secure-Functioning Relationships - Habit 6: Synergize
Combine differences so the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Made Practical - Transform the relationship, not just the issue
Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
The Third Alternative, Made Practical - Competing (assertive, uncooperative)
Pursue your own position firmly when speed, principle, or stakes outweigh the relationship cost.
The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles - Find mutual purpose
Establish a shared goal both people care about so the conversation is "us vs the problem".
Crucial Conversations, Made Practical - Engage in productive ideological conflict
Teams that avoid conflict don’t avoid disagreement — they bury it, where it grows into resentment and bad decisions.
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Made Practical - Protect fondness actively during and after conflict
Conflict is the test of PSO — deliberately hold the positive frame while the negative one is loudest.
Positive Sentiment Override: How to Build the Lens That Protects Relationships
Related concerns
- Collaborative Conflict Culture
Collaborating — high assertive, high cooperative — finds a solution that genuinely works for both parties, but it takes time.
Use Collaborating when the relationship and the solution both matter
- How To Resolve Workplace Conflict Between Two Employees
Work the underlying interests until you find a solution that genuinely meets both sides’ needs.
Collaborating (assertive and cooperative)
- Assertive Conflict Approach
Pursue your own position firmly when speed, principle, or stakes outweigh the relationship cost.
Competing (assertive, uncooperative)
- Cofounder Conflict
Work the underlying interests until you find a solution that genuinely meets both sides’ needs.
- Collaborative Conflict Resolution
Collaborating — high assertive, high cooperative — finds a solution that genuinely works for both parties, but it takes time.
- Collaborative Problem Solving Ross Greene During Conflict
Ross Greene’s Collaborative Problem Solving model holds that kids with explosive behavior lack the cognitive skills to handle frustration and inflexibility — not the motivation. The approach replaces punitive consequences with structured adult–child conversations that build lagging skills over time. Randomized trials in clinical settings show significant reductions in explosive behavior, though most real-world evidence is clinical and observational.
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.