Coaching practices for Lateral Thinking During Conflict
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Lateral Thinking During Conflict, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- Somewhere in this I stopped seeing a problem we both have and started seeing the other person AS the problem
- We solve the immediate thing but the same ugly dynamic underneath stays exactly the same, so the next disagreement plays out identically
- We both keep digging into our positions and neither of us is really hearing why the other one cares
- I’ve built up this villain version of the other person in my head
- When I try to brainstorm how to make this work I freeze up and self-censor every idea as not good enough
Practices that may help
- Lateral Thinking, Made Practical
Lateral thinking, coined by Edward de Bono, is a set of deliberate techniques for disrupting habitual thought patterns so that a problem can be approached from an unexpected angle. Unlike vertical (logical) thinking, which deepens the current line of reasoning, lateral thinking deliberately abandons it to find a new entry point. Evidence for specific techniques is largely observational and practitioner-reported; the underlying cognitive principle — that breaking pattern-lock enables novel solutions — has support in creativity research. - Separate the person from the problem
Treat the conflict as a problem you face together, not a contest you fight each other.
The Third Alternative, Made Practical - Transform the relationship, not just the issue
Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
The Third Alternative, Made Practical - Collaborating (assertive and cooperative)
Work the underlying interests until you find a solution that genuinely meets both sides’ needs.
The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles - Take their perspective accurately
Build a precise model of how the situation looks from their side, not a caricature.
Tactical Empathy - Reverse brainstorm: solve the opposite problem first
Ask "How would we guarantee the worst possible outcome?" — then invert every answer.
Lateral Thinking, Made Practical - Use Competing when speed or safety matters more than buy-in
Competing — high assertive, low cooperative — is appropriate when the decision is urgent, high-stakes, and not open for debate.
The Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) - Concept fan: map the solution space before picking a direction
Expand from specific solutions to the broader concept behind them, then generate alternatives at the concept level.
Lateral Thinking, Made Practical - Ask "Are you willing to find a solution better than either of us has thought of?"
Open the conversation with a single question that resets both parties from adversaries to co-creators.
The Third Alternative, Made Practical - Random entry: force a random stimulus into the problem
Open a dictionary to a random word, then connect it to the problem — the forced association breaks the current pattern lock.
Lateral Thinking, Made Practical
Related concerns
- Broaden And Build During Conflict
Barbara Fredrickson’s broaden-and-build theory proposes that positive emotions — joy, curiosity, love, gratitude, awe — temporarily broaden thought-action repertoires (making thinking more flexible and creative) and, over time, build durable psychological resources including resilience, social connection, and cognitive flexibility. The theory is supported by experimental evidence for the broadening effect; the longer-term building effects are primarily observational.
- The Third Alternative During Conflict
The Third Alternative is Stephen Covey’s framework for resolving conflicts not by splitting the difference but by co-creating a solution neither side imagined alone — one that fully meets the deeper needs of both parties. It requires genuine curiosity about the other side’s interests rather than a defense of positions, and rests on integrative negotiation research that consistently finds this approach outperforms positional bargaining.
- Assertive Conflict Approach
Pursue your own position firmly when speed, principle, or stakes outweigh the relationship cost.
Competing (assertive, uncooperative)
- Challenge Assumptions Lateral Thinking
Lateral thinking, coined by Edward de Bono, is a set of deliberate techniques for disrupting habitual thought patterns so that a problem can be approached from an unexpected angle. Unlike vertical (logical) thinking, which deepens the current line of reasoning, lateral thinking deliberately abandons it to find a new entry point. Evidence for specific techniques is largely observational and practitioner-reported; the underlying cognitive principle — that breaking pattern-lock enables novel solutions — has support in creativity research.
- Cofounder Conflict
Work the underlying interests until you find a solution that genuinely meets both sides’ needs.
Collaborating (assertive and cooperative)
- Collaborative Conflict Culture
Collaborating — high assertive, high cooperative — finds a solution that genuinely works for both parties, but it takes time.
Use Collaborating when the relationship and the solution both matter
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