Coaching practices for Listening in One on Ones
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Listening in One on Ones, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- Feedback in my one-on-ones only ever flows one way
- One-on-one keeps falling apart the second the other person gets busy
- Every single one-on-one we only ever talk about this week’s deliverables, and we never once zoom out to where they’re headed
- While the other person is still talking I’m already loading up my comeback, barely hearing them
- In these conversations I fire off question after question like an interrogation, and the other person closes up rather than opening
Practices that may help
- Effective One-on-Ones, Made Practical
An effective one-on-one is a recurring, protected meeting that belongs to your report: they own the agenda, and your job is to listen, unblock, and support their growth — not to run a status update. The relational mechanisms (regular contact, voice, support) are well grounded; the specific cadence and format are practitioner craft built on top of them. - Make feedback flow in both directions
Give timely, specific feedback — and ask for it on your own management.
Effective One-on-Ones, Made Practical - Join a small accountability group
Report to a small group rather than one person to add redundancy and social proof.
Accountability Partners - Spend real time on growth, not just tasks
Regularly leave the weeds and talk about career, skills, and where they’re headed.
Effective One-on-Ones, Made Practical - Be Interested: listen and show that you are listening
Attend to the other person’s perspective with genuine curiosity, not just patience.
GIVE: DBT’s Skill for Preserving Relationships During Difficult Conversations - Use OARS to make the person feel understood
Open questions, Affirmations, Reflections, Summaries — the four core micro-skills.
Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical - Let the report own the agenda
It’s their meeting — they bring what matters to them, and you adapt to it.
Effective One-on-Ones, Made Practical - Silent witness listening
Practice hearing another person completely without preparing your response.
Ho'oponopono: Hawaiian Forgiveness and Reconciliation - Make one-on-ones genuinely theirs, not yours
One-on-ones that serve the manager’s agenda demonstrate the opposite of caring personally.
Caring Personally: The Foundation of Radical Candor - Listen far more than you talk
Aim to talk a fraction of the time; your silence is what makes space for the real issues.
Effective One-on-Ones, Made Practical
Related concerns
- One On Ones With Direct Reports
An effective one-on-one is a recurring, protected meeting that belongs to your report: they own the agenda, and your job is to listen, unblock, and support their growth — not to run a status update. The relational mechanisms (regular contact, voice, support) are well grounded; the specific cadence and format are practitioner craft built on top of them.
- Report Owns One On One Agenda
It’s their meeting — they bring what matters to them, and you adapt to it.
Let the report own the agenda
- Effective One On One Meetings
An effective one-on-one is a recurring, protected meeting that belongs to your report: they own the agenda, and your job is to listen, unblock, and support their growth — not to run a status update. The relational mechanisms (regular contact, voice, support) are well grounded; the specific cadence and format are practitioner craft built on top of them.
- Effective One On Ones As A Caregiver
An effective one-on-one is a recurring, protected meeting that belongs to your report: they own the agenda, and your job is to listen, unblock, and support their growth — not to run a status update. The relational mechanisms (regular contact, voice, support) are well grounded; the specific cadence and format are practitioner craft built on top of them.
- Effective One On Ones At Work
An effective one-on-one is a recurring, protected meeting that belongs to your report: they own the agenda, and your job is to listen, unblock, and support their growth — not to run a status update. The relational mechanisms (regular contact, voice, support) are well grounded; the specific cadence and format are practitioner craft built on top of them.
- Effective One On Ones For My Teenager
An effective one-on-one is a recurring, protected meeting that belongs to your report: they own the agenda, and your job is to listen, unblock, and support their growth — not to run a status update. The relational mechanisms (regular contact, voice, support) are well grounded; the specific cadence and format are practitioner craft built on top of them.
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