Coaching practices for Movement for Conversations

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Movement for Conversations, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • The one-on-ones I do across a desk feel stiff, and the honest stuff and the good ideas never quite come out face to face
  • Every time our group meets, the same two or three loud voices run the whole conversation while the rest go silent, and I can feel the quieter people having things to say that never get the chance to land.
  • People seem to wrap up fast when they talk to me, like they’re not sure I’m still with them, and I don’t know how to keep them going without jumping in and taking over the conversation.
  • The moment a conversation gets tense, the defender or the placater in me grabs the wheel and says things I don’t even mean, and afterward I see it derailed the whole thing
  • In these conversations I fire off question after question like an interrogation, and the other person closes up rather than opening

Practices that may help

  1. Walking meetings and conversations
    Move one-on-ones and brainstorms onto a walk instead of a table.
    Walking for Creativity
  2. Use the talking piece to enforce equal voice
    Only the person holding the talking piece speaks — everyone else listens.
    The Circle Process (Kay Pranis)
  3. Use minimal encouragers
    Small signals — "mm-hm", "go on", a nod — that keep the speaker talking without taking the floor.
    Active Listening, Made Practical
  4. Lead from Self in difficult conversations
    Before a hard conversation, access Self so you can respond to the person rather than react from a part.
    IFS Self Energy, Made Practical
  5. Use OARS to make the person feel understood
    Open questions, Affirmations, Reflections, Summaries — the four core micro-skills.
    Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
  6. Open every circle by naming shared values
    Shared values create the psychological container that makes honest dialogue possible.
    The Circle Process (Kay Pranis)
  7. Move to action
    Close the conversation by deciding how decisions get made, then assigning who does what by when.
    Crucial Conversations, Made Practical
  8. Untangle the three conversations
    Separate what happened, the feelings, and the identity stakes — they’re tangled and need different handling.
    Difficult Conversations, Made Practical
  9. Match the other person’s energy and pace, not just their words
    Align your speaking rate, volume, and energy level to theirs before trying to shift them.
    Mirroring and Matching, Made Practical
  10. Use check-in and check-out rounds to hold the whole person
    Every circle opens with a personal check-in and closes with a check-out — creating a container with a beginning and an end.
    The Circle Process (Kay Pranis)

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