Coaching practices for Repair Leader Relationship

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Repair Leader Relationship, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• Things with my manager have gone cold and transactional, and we’re both just avoiding it and quietly resenting each other
• There are people on my team I’ve quietly written off
• I’ve started treating every fight we have as proof that something’s broken between us, and because we never really circle back to mend them afterward, each unfinished one chips away at all the good we’ve built
• My boss took a real chance on me and advocated for me, and I just took it and moved on without ever closing the loop
• I lead a team and I’ve realized the people I lean on most are the ones who remind me of myself or are just easy to be around

Practices that may help

1. Repair a damaged leader-follower relationship deliberately
   Take active steps to reset a deteriorated relationship, rather than allowing avoidance to compound the damage.
   Leader-Member Exchange (LMX), Made Practical
2. Deliberately expand your inner circle
   Move team members from low-LMX to high-LMX through intentional relationship investment.
   Leader-Member Exchange (LMX), Made Practical
3. Treat conflict as maintenance, not maintenance failure
   Repair well and quickly — because how you end conflict matters more than how you conduct it.
   Relationship Maintenance Behaviors
4. Reciprocate when your leader invests in you
   When a leader gives you trust, opportunity, or advocacy, close the loop with visible follow-through.
   Leader-Member Exchange (LMX), Made Practical
5. Leader-Member Exchange (LMX), Made Practical
   Leader-member exchange theory, developed by George Graen and Mary Uhl-Bien, holds that leaders do not treat all followers the same — they develop distinct dyadic relationships ranging from high-LMX (trust, respect, mutual obligation) to low-LMX (formal, exchange-based). High-LMX relationships are consistently associated with better performance, satisfaction, and career outcomes in observational research.
6. Manage LMX differentiation fairly as a leader
   Acknowledge that you develop different relationships with different people — and ensure the differences are earned, not arbitrary.
   Leader-Member Exchange (LMX), Made Practical
7. Rupture and Repair
   Ruptures — the inevitable misattunements, conflicts, and disconnections in any close relationship — are normal and unavoidable; what builds security is reliable repair afterward. Research from infant still-face studies, couples work, and psychotherapy all converges on the same finding: relationships are not made secure by avoiding rupture but by the predictable experience that disconnection can be named and reconnected.
8. Let repeated repair build earned security
   Each successful repair teaches "we can break and come back" — which is what makes a relationship feel safe.
   Rupture and Repair
9. Invest in the relationship before you need it
   Build relational credit through reliability and initiative, not charm or performance alone.
   Leader-Member Exchange (LMX), Made Practical
10. Assess the current quality of your leader-member relationship
    Honestly diagnose where you stand in the relationship before trying to improve it.
    Leader-Member Exchange (LMX), Made Practical

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