Coaching practices for The Not to Do List as a Parent

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For The Not to Do List as a Parent, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I keep telling myself I’ll cut back on the things that drain me, but every single time the moment comes I cave and say yes again
  • It’s not junk that derails me
  • My list is just a flat wall of tasks that all look equally urgent, so I keep grabbing whatever’s easiest instead of whatever matters
  • There’s never a point where I get to say I’m done
  • My to-do list has everything I could ever conceivably do crammed onto it, so there’s no honest line between someday-maybe and what I’m actually committing to today

Practices that may help

  1. The Not-To-Do List
    The not-to-do list is a set of behaviors, tasks, and commitments you commit to stopping or refusing — permanently. Tim Ferriss argues that elimination is more valuable than optimization because low-leverage activities consume time that no amount of efficiency can recover. The approach is largely practitioner advice backed by mechanistic reasoning about opportunity cost and attention.
  2. Write and commit to a standing not-to-do list
    Turn elimination candidates into an explicit, reviewed list of permanent refusals.
    The Not-To-Do List
  3. Treat items 6–25 as active avoidances, not a later list
    Everything not in your top 5 must be actively avoided — it is your "do-not-do" list.
    Warren Buffett’s Two-List Strategy
  4. The ABCDE prioritization method
    Label every task A (must), B (should), C (nice), D (delegate), or E (eliminate) before starting.
    Eat That Frog, Made Practical
  5. Work from a closed daily list
    Write today’s task list before the day begins, then refuse to add new items to it.
    Do It Tomorrow, Made Practical
  6. Separate "will-do" from "to-do" lists
    Keep a master to-do list distinct from the closed daily "will-do" list that you actually commit to.
    Do It Tomorrow, Made Practical
  7. Offload cognitive load with a bedtime worry journal
    Write tomorrow’s to-do list and any intrusive worries before bed — externalized thoughts stop competing for attention at sleep onset.
    The Wind-Down Routine: Engineering Your Path to Sleep
  8. Allow natural consequences to do the teaching
    Step back and let the world respond — your child learns more from being cold than from being lectured about coats.
    Natural and Logical Consequences (Rudolf Dreikurs)
  9. Distinguish genuine deferral from disguised refusal
    An item that has been on the someday list for two or more years is not deferred — it has been declined without being acknowledged.
    The Someday List
  10. Only put tasks on the board that you’ve explicitly decided to do
    Your Kanban board is not a wish list — only tasks you have consciously committed to belong in To Do.
    Personal Kanban, Made Practical

Related concerns

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