Coaching practices for The Not to Do List with Friends

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For The Not to Do List with Friends, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I keep telling myself I’ll cut back on the things that drain me, but every single time the moment comes I cave and say yes again
  • My partner and I keep saying "we should do that someday," and someday never comes because it’s no one’s job to make it real
  • There’s never a point where I get to say I’m done
  • My to-do list has everything I could ever conceivably do crammed onto it, so there’s no honest line between someday-maybe and what I’m actually committing to today
  • The moment the lights go out my brain starts running tomorrow’s to-do list on a loop

Practices that may help

  1. The Not-To-Do List
    The not-to-do list is a set of behaviors, tasks, and commitments you commit to stopping or refusing — permanently. Tim Ferriss argues that elimination is more valuable than optimization because low-leverage activities consume time that no amount of efficiency can recover. The approach is largely practitioner advice backed by mechanistic reasoning about opportunity cost and attention.
  2. Write and commit to a standing not-to-do list
    Turn elimination candidates into an explicit, reviewed list of permanent refusals.
    The Not-To-Do List
  3. Create a shared bucket list with people you love
    A shared list is harder to defer and more motivating than a solo one — and the experiences themselves are richer.
    The Bucket List Method
  4. Work from a closed daily list
    Write today’s task list before the day begins, then refuse to add new items to it.
    Do It Tomorrow, Made Practical
  5. Separate "will-do" from "to-do" lists
    Keep a master to-do list distinct from the closed daily "will-do" list that you actually commit to.
    Do It Tomorrow, Made Practical
  6. Offload cognitive load with a bedtime worry journal
    Write tomorrow’s to-do list and any intrusive worries before bed — externalized thoughts stop competing for attention at sleep onset.
    The Wind-Down Routine: Engineering Your Path to Sleep
  7. Schedule deliberate investment in your important friendships
    Identify your most important friendships and make a concrete plan to reach out this week — not when conditions are easier.
    The Regret of the Dying
  8. Distinguish genuine deferral from disguised refusal
    An item that has been on the someday list for two or more years is not deferred — it has been declined without being acknowledged.
    The Someday List
  9. The ABCDE prioritization method
    Label every task A (must), B (should), C (nice), D (delegate), or E (eliminate) before starting.
    Eat That Frog, Made Practical
  10. Treat items 6–25 as active avoidances, not a later list
    Everything not in your top 5 must be actively avoided — it is your "do-not-do" list.
    Warren Buffett’s Two-List Strategy

Related concerns

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