Coaching practices for The Not to Do List with My Partner
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For The Not to Do List with My Partner, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- My partner and I keep saying "we should do that someday," and someday never comes because it’s no one’s job to make it real
- I keep telling myself I’ll cut back on the things that drain me, but every single time the moment comes I cave and say yes again
- I want to pair a guilty pleasure with a chore I keep dodging, but I can’t tell which of my treats and which of my avoided tasks would actually fit together
- My to-do list has everything I could ever conceivably do crammed onto it, so there’s no honest line between someday-maybe and what I’m actually committing to today
- The moment the lights go out my brain starts running tomorrow’s to-do list on a loop
Practices that may help
- The Not-To-Do List
The not-to-do list is a set of behaviors, tasks, and commitments you commit to stopping or refusing — permanently. Tim Ferriss argues that elimination is more valuable than optimization because low-leverage activities consume time that no amount of efficiency can recover. The approach is largely practitioner advice backed by mechanistic reasoning about opportunity cost and attention. - Create a shared bucket list with people you love
A shared list is harder to defer and more motivating than a solo one — and the experiences themselves are richer.
The Bucket List Method - Write and commit to a standing not-to-do list
Turn elimination candidates into an explicit, reviewed list of permanent refusals.
The Not-To-Do List - Audit your wants and shoulds to find bundle candidates
List the things you want to do but feel guilty about alongside the things you know you should do but avoid.
Temptation Bundling, Made Practical - Separate "will-do" from "to-do" lists
Keep a master to-do list distinct from the closed daily "will-do" list that you actually commit to.
Do It Tomorrow, Made Practical - Offload cognitive load with a bedtime worry journal
Write tomorrow’s to-do list and any intrusive worries before bed — externalized thoughts stop competing for attention at sleep onset.
The Wind-Down Routine: Engineering Your Path to Sleep - Surface small irritants before they become resentments
Name low-level friction early, when it’s still a small thing.
The Relationship Check-In: A Structured Practice for Staying Connected - State a positive need, not a negative critique
Tell your partner what you need, not what they should stop doing.
The Soft Startup: How You Begin a Difficult Conversation Determines How It Ends - Apply anti-goals to relationships and collaborators
Naming the relational patterns you refuse to accept prevents you from optimising for the wrong things in who you work or live with.
Anti-Goals: Defining Success by What You Refuse to Accept - Distinguish genuine deferral from disguised refusal
An item that has been on the someday list for two or more years is not deferred — it has been declined without being acknowledged.
The Someday List
Related concerns
- The Not To Do List With Friends
The not-to-do list is a set of behaviors, tasks, and commitments you commit to stopping or refusing — permanently. Tim Ferriss argues that elimination is more valuable than optimization because low-leverage activities consume time that no amount of efficiency can recover. The approach is largely practitioner advice backed by mechanistic reasoning about opportunity cost and attention.
- Not To Do List Examples
The not-to-do list is a set of behaviors, tasks, and commitments you commit to stopping or refusing — permanently. Tim Ferriss argues that elimination is more valuable than optimization because low-leverage activities consume time that no amount of efficiency can recover. The approach is largely practitioner advice backed by mechanistic reasoning about opportunity cost and attention.
- The Not To Do List As A Caregiver
The not-to-do list is a set of behaviors, tasks, and commitments you commit to stopping or refusing — permanently. Tim Ferriss argues that elimination is more valuable than optimization because low-leverage activities consume time that no amount of efficiency can recover. The approach is largely practitioner advice backed by mechanistic reasoning about opportunity cost and attention.
- The Not To Do List As A Parent
The not-to-do list is a set of behaviors, tasks, and commitments you commit to stopping or refusing — permanently. Tim Ferriss argues that elimination is more valuable than optimization because low-leverage activities consume time that no amount of efficiency can recover. The approach is largely practitioner advice backed by mechanistic reasoning about opportunity cost and attention.
- The Not To Do List For My Teenager
The not-to-do list is a set of behaviors, tasks, and commitments you commit to stopping or refusing — permanently. Tim Ferriss argues that elimination is more valuable than optimization because low-leverage activities consume time that no amount of efficiency can recover. The approach is largely practitioner advice backed by mechanistic reasoning about opportunity cost and attention.
- The Not To Do List Under Stress
The not-to-do list is a set of behaviors, tasks, and commitments you commit to stopping or refusing — permanently. Tim Ferriss argues that elimination is more valuable than optimization because low-leverage activities consume time that no amount of efficiency can recover. The approach is largely practitioner advice backed by mechanistic reasoning about opportunity cost and attention.
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