Coaching practices for The Trust Triangle During Conflict
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For The Trust Triangle During Conflict, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- We solve the immediate thing but the same ugly dynamic underneath stays exactly the same, so the next disagreement plays out identically
- I do genuinely have their back, but I assume they just know it, so I never actually show it
- Something’s damaged my trust in them but I can’t bring myself to just say so, so instead I quietly pull back, vent to other people, and let it fester
- I won’t hand anyone real responsibility until they’ve completely proven themselves first
- I keep everything at work behind a polished, guarded front
Practices that may help
- The Trust Triangle
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged. - Transform the relationship, not just the issue
Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
The Third Alternative, Made Practical - Demonstrate care through visible acts in the other person’s interest
Show that your interests and theirs are genuinely aligned — not only when it’s convenient.
The Trust Triangle - Have explicit trust conversations when trust is at stake
Name the trust issue directly rather than managing it indirectly.
The Trust Triangle - The Trust Equation, Made Practical
The Trust Equation (Maister, Green, and Galford) holds that trustworthiness = (credibility + reliability + intimacy) ÷ self-orientation. The model is a practitioner framework rather than a rigorously tested theory, but it usefully names the levers — especially self-orientation, which is the single biggest trust-killer most leaders overlook. - Extend trust deliberately to invite it
Trust others first, in bounded ways, before they have earned every dimension — it is how trust is built.
The Trust Triangle - Lower your guard to raise the intimacy score
Sharing something real about yourself makes others feel safer sharing something real with you.
The Trust Equation, Made Practical - Separate the person from the problem
Treat the conflict as a problem you face together, not a contest you fight each other.
The Third Alternative, Made Practical - Collaborating (assertive and cooperative)
Work the underlying interests until you find a solution that genuinely meets both sides’ needs.
The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles - Create and protect the couple bubble
Agree that you each put the relationship above any third party, including family of origin.
Secure-Functioning Relationships
Related concerns
- The Trust Triangle As A Parent
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
- The Trust Triangle For My Teenager
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
- The Trust Triangle With Friends
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
- The Trust Triangle With My Partner
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
- Trust Triangle Feltman
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
- Care Dimension Of Trust
Show that your interests and theirs are genuinely aligned — not only when it’s convenient.
Demonstrate care through visible acts in the other person’s interest
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