Coaching practices for Trust Triangle Feltman
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Trust Triangle Feltman, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- To smooth things over I say "sounds good," "I’m fine with it," "I understand" when none of it is actually true
- I won’t hand anyone real responsibility until they’ve completely proven themselves first
- I keep everything at work behind a polished, guarded front
- Trust with this person has cracked and I just keep apologizing for "not being trustworthy" in this big vague way
- My partner sided with their family over me again, or didn’t back me up in front of others, and I’m left unsure whether they’ll actually put us first when it counts
Practices that may help
- The Trust Triangle
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged. - Build sincerity by saying only what you mean
Only make commitments and assertions you actually believe — and retract the ones you don’t.
The Trust Triangle - Extend trust deliberately to invite it
Trust others first, in bounded ways, before they have earned every dimension — it is how trust is built.
The Trust Triangle - Lower your guard to raise the intimacy score
Sharing something real about yourself makes others feel safer sharing something real with you.
The Trust Equation, Made Practical - The Trust Equation, Made Practical
The Trust Equation (Maister, Green, and Galford) holds that trustworthiness = (credibility + reliability + intimacy) ÷ self-orientation. The model is a practitioner framework rather than a rigorously tested theory, but it usefully names the levers — especially self-orientation, which is the single biggest trust-killer most leaders overlook. - Diagnose which trust dimension is broken before trying to repair
Name the specific trust assessment that failed — then address that one, not trust in general.
The Trust Triangle - Create and protect the couple bubble
Agree that you each put the relationship above any third party, including family of origin.
Secure-Functioning Relationships - Demonstrate care through visible acts in the other person’s interest
Show that your interests and theirs are genuinely aligned — not only when it’s convenient.
The Trust Triangle - Use the horsemen as an early-warning system, not only a post-mortem
Notice which horseman is present in the first 60 seconds of a conflict and intervene before it escalates.
The Four Horsemen: Gottman's Warning Signs of Relationship Breakdown - Have explicit trust conversations when trust is at stake
Name the trust issue directly rather than managing it indirectly.
The Trust Triangle
Related concerns
- How To Build Trust Back In A Relationship
Trust others first, in bounded ways, before they have earned every dimension — it is how trust is built.
Extend trust deliberately to invite it
- How To Gain Trust After Failing To Support My Wife In A Difficult Moment
Name the specific trust assessment that failed — then address that one, not trust in general.
Diagnose which trust dimension is broken before trying to repair
- The Trust Triangle After A Loss
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
- The Trust Triangle After A Setback
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
- The Trust Triangle As A Parent
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
- The Trust Triangle At Work
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.