Coaching practices for Values and Behavior Alignment

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Values and Behavior Alignment, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• I’ve named my top values, but looking back at the actual decisions I made this week, I’m not sure my behavior honored a single one of them
• I stand up and tell my team what we value, but I’ve started to wonder whether my own choices actually match the words
• I keep telling myself I’m basically living in line with what I care about, but if I’m brutally honest about my actual behavior the last couple of weeks, I suspect I’m way further from the center than I let myself admit
• I assumed we wanted the same things, but lately our differences keep surfacing and I can’t tell which ones are real gaps in what we value and which are just us never having checked whether we’re actually aligned.
• We’ve got nice-sounding values up on the wall and the website, but they do nothing in the room when a real hiring or judgment call is on the table

Practices that may help

1. The values–behavior gap check
   Audit the last week: which of your top values did your actual decisions honor?
   Values Card Sort
2. Model the values you expect (idealized influence)
   Become a living example of the values you want your team to hold.
   Transformational Leadership, Made Practical
3. Rate your current position in each domain
   Mark on each domain’s bullseye how closely your recent behavior has matched the value — honestly.
   Values Bullseye, Made Practical
4. Align on core values — where they are shared and where they differ
   Map which values you genuinely share and which you each hold separately — without requiring convergence.
   The Shared Meaning System
5. Make core values operational, not decorative
   Use core values in hiring, recognition, and decision-making — not just on the website.
   The Rockefeller Habits: Scaling Up with Rhythm and Focus
6. Check action against stated values — the alignment review
   Once a week, compare your stated values to your actual choices and name the gap honestly.
   The Pythagorean Evening Review
7. Values-Based Action (ACT), Made Practical
   Values-based action in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) means choosing behaviors that are consistent with what matters most to you — your values — rather than behaviors driven by avoidance of pain or approval-seeking. ACT distinguishes values (directions, ongoing) from goals (destinations, finishable); the emphasis is on the quality of action in the present rather than outcome attainment. ACT has robust meta-analytic support; values-based action is identified as a core mechanism.
8. Valued living audit: how much are you actually living your values?
   Rate both how important each value is and how consistently you have been living it — the gap is where to focus.
   Values-Based Action (ACT), Made Practical
9. Stick to Values: act consistently with what actually matters to you
   Before compromising a position, check whether the compromise conflicts with a core value — and hold if it does.
   FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships
10. The practice of personal integrity
    Keep your behavior aligned with your stated values — match your walk to your talk.
    The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical

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